What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the thirty-third in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are Often in the Definitions

It’s time to coax those surplus redundancies out of hiding and sweep them away.

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions.

And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

1. The mediator broke down all the barriers that kept union and management from reaching a mutual agreement.
2. He crouched down in order to pet the little miniature Yorkie.
3. The baffle cancels out all vibrations and shaking.
4. The shower walls were completely transparent, and they allowed the detective to photograph the evidence he needed.
5. We are entering into the winter season now.
6. The villagers claimed that the cave was somewhere near to the river.
7. Their ghosts wandered, wraith-like, through the ancient castle.
8. He rolled up the painting and stored it in a hollow tube.
9. We don’t know the source of where the opium is coming from.
10. He chortled gleefully as he began his shift, while his coworkers glowered angrily.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1: The mediator broke down all the barriers that kept union and management from reaching an mutual agreement.

agreement: a manifestation of mutual assent by two or more entities; a bargain, a covenant, a deal, a pact

Because a bargain or covenant can only be reached if the parties agree, the agreement must by definition be mutual.

Alternate wording: The [arbitrator, negotiator] [eliminated, eradicated] all the [disputes, issues] that kept union and management from [coming to terms, making a deal].

Many editors would strike out all as well.

Edit #2: He crouched down in order to pet the little Miniature Yorkie.

crouch: bend the knees and bring the upper body forward and down

miniature: little, tiny

Note: A Miniature Yorkie is a breed of tiny Yorkshire terrier. Some sources capitalize Miniature and others don’t.

Alternate wording:  He [bent over, squatted] in order to [offer the Miniature Yorkie a treat, scratch the Miniature Yorkie’s ears].

Edit #3: The baffle cancels out all vibrations and shaking.

cancel: wipe out; blot out

vibration: shaking

Removing all likely produces a truer statement. However, dialogue often exaggerates.

Alternate wording: The [regulator, valve] [minimizes, reduces] vibrations.

Edit #4: The shower walls were completely transparent, and they allowed the detective to photograph the evidence he needed.

transparent: allowing light to pass through so that objects on the other side are clearly visible

clearly: entirely, completely

Alternate wording: The [acrylate polymer, clear, see-through] shower walls allowed the [ex-husband, private investigator] to [capture, collect, film, record] the evidence he needed.

Edit #5: We are entering into the winter season now.

enter: come or go into a place, a season, a time period, etc.

winter: the coldest season of the year

Note that are entering is present continuous tense, which indicates something happening now.

Alternate wording: Winter begins today.

Or for Game of Thrones fans, Winter is finally here.

If you’re writing a fantasy or science fiction story, you might want to invent a name to replace winter.

Edit #6: The villagers claimed that the cave was somewhere near to the river.

near: close to

Alternate wording: The [dwellers, rustics, settlers] [alleged, protested] that the [cavern, den, grotto, hideaway] was somewhere near the river.

The deletion of somewhere would change the tone somewhat.

Edit #7: Their ghosts wandered, wraith-like, through the ancient castle.

ghost: wraith, spirit, phantom

Alternate wording: Their [apparitions, spirits] [drifted, floated] through the ancient [fortress, ruins].

Edit #8: He rolled up the painting and stored it in a hollow tube.

tube: a hollow cylinder typically used for holding or transporting something

Alternate wording: He [deposited, placed, stowed] the [artwork, landscape, portrait, watercolor] in [an art tube, a drawing tube].

Note the deletion of rolled up the, which is unnecessary staging.

Edit #9: We don’t know the source of where the opium is coming from.

source: a place, person, or thing from which something comes or can be acquired

Alternate wording: We [are not aware of, can’t determine] the [origin, provider, supplier] of the [codeine, narcotics, opioids].

Edit #10: He chortled gleefully as he began his shift, while his coworkers glowered angrily.

chortle: chuckle in a breathy, gleeful way

Lewis Carroll invented chortle in the novel Through the Looking Glass — probably a combination of chuckle and snort

glower: look angrily; scowl

Alternate wording: He [grinned, smirked, sneered] as he began his shift, while his coworkers [glared at him, scowled].

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers

Are You Interested in More Quizzes and Writing Tips?

If you haven’t done so already, please subscribe to my blog. (The link will take you to the subscription widget at the top left of this post.)

I usually post two to five times monthly, and you can discontinue your subscription at any time.