Slash, Hack, Chop …

Culling superfluous words has been my focus in several recent posts. Today I present another way to tighten narrative: the revision of verb-adverb phrases.

Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing criminal about judicious use of adverbs. However, they can quickly bloat a story. There, I just used an adverb (quickly). And another (just).

Let’s consider how simple edits of verb-adverb phrases can strengthen writing and reduce word count.

Caveat

Revision of writing requires finesse. Some alternatives might suit your WIP, and others not.

The following lists represent a cross section of verb-adverb phrases that people use while talking and writing. You might even discover a few story ideas while you read.

Verb + [fast, hastily, quickly, rapidly]

Adverbs of degree frequently increase word count. Would any of the following substitutions suit your story?

accelerate rapidly: balloon, mushroom, rocket, soar, surge

approach quickly: explode, impend, loom, menace, threaten

burn quickly: blaze, erupt, flame. flare, flash, fulgurate

drive fast: flash, fly, race, rush, speed, streak, zoom

read quickly: browse, scan, skim

run quickly: dash, fly, gallop, race, sprint

walk quickly: bustle, hurry, jog, rush, scamper, scurry

write hastily: jot, scrawl, scribble

Verb + [bit by bit, gradually, slowly, sluggishly]

And here are a few more adverbs of degree.

change slowly: creep, fluctuate, metamorphose, mutate, shift

flow away slowly: ebb, percolate, slacken, trickle

move slowly: amble, dawdle, drag, lag, mosey, plod

talk slowly: drawl, drone

walk slowly: amble, plod, saunter, stroll, trudge

Verb + [loudly, noisily]

What about these noisy phrases?

argue loudly: battle, clash, squabble, wrangle

bark loudly: bay, caterwaul, yap, yowl

burp loudly: belch, eruct

sing loudly: mewl, resound, shout, yodel

snore loudly: roar, rumble, snort, snuffle

talk loudly: bellow, holler, thunder, yell

walk loudly: clunk, crash, pound, thud, thump

Verb + well

Well, when employed as an adverb of degree, is often overused. Try these alternatives.

do well: flourish, prosper, succeed, thrive

get along well: agree, bond, click, harmonize

get well: heal, improve, recover, recuperate

know well: get, savvy, understand

pay well: bankroll, incentivize, reward

perform well: excel, shine

reflect well on: compliment, flatter, honor

sing well: croon, harmonize, warble

sleep well: hibernate, oversleep, snore

work well: flourish, function, prosper, succeed

Verb + really

And we mustn’t forget really, which is closely related to very, extremely, especially, extraordinarily …

really appreciate: esteem, treasure, value, welcome

really believe/think: assume, expect, presume

really care: agonize, esteem, stew, value, worry

really dote on: coddle, cosset, indulge, overindulge, spoil

really like: idolize, love, prefer, treasure, worship

really fascinate: bedevil, captivate, mesmerize, preoccupy

really frighten: alarm, horrify, panic, petrify, terrify

really screw up: bomb, botch, fail, flop, flub, spoil

really want: covet, crave, hunger, yearn

Verb + [never, not]

The negative adverbs never and not are usually paired with auxiliary verbs such as can, could, will, and would.

He can never betray her.

He could never betray her.

He will never betray her.

He would never betray her.

Each of the preceding four sentences provides a slightly different nuance. Could the indicated phrases be replaced with shorter alternatives by exploiting positive wording?

He can defend her

He could guard her.

He will protect her.

He would safeguard her.

Let’s Turn Negatives into Positives

The alternatives in the following list save one word apiece, which, in a long WIP, could amount to hundreds of words for writers who rely heavily on overuse never and not phrasing.

never betray: defend, guard, protect, safeguard

never drive: bicycle, fly, hike, jog, ride, walk

never go to: avoid, circumvent, dodge, ignore, shun

never listen: disobey, disregard, flout, ignore

never mind: defy, disobey, disregard, rebel, resist

never say: hint, hush, imply, infer, withhold

never stop: continue, endure, persevere, persist

never suspect: believe, trust

not accept: deny, rebuff, refuse, reject

not attend: avoid, dodge, miss, shun, skip

not catch: drop, flub, fumble, miss

not go: linger, remain, stay, stop, wait

not heal: degenerate, deteriorate, fester, relapse, worsen

not lose: clutch, keep, maintain, preserve, retain, save

not match: clash, conflict, differ, diverge, mismatch

not promise: contradict, deceive, refuse, renege, retract

not remember: forget, overlook, omit, pass

not say: choke, internalize, repress, stifle, suppress

not start: discontinue, finish, freeze, immobilize, pause

not walk: drive, fly, halt, jog, rest, run, sit, stand, stop

not want: abhor, avoid, dislike, dodge, hate, scorn

More Examples of Verb-Adverb Phrases

Remember that connotations and narrator’s voice should be the deciding factors in your edits.

act foolishly: botch, flub, jest, joke, misbehave, prank, wisecrack

apologize profusely: atone, confess, crawl, expiate, repent

ask hesitantly: coax, hint, propose, request, solicit, suggest

assault brutally: brutalize, debase, torment, torture, violate

babble incessantly: blather, gibber, jabber, natter, prate, yak

barrage mercilessly: bombard, inundate, overrun, overwhelm

barter slyly: outfox, outmaneuver, outsmart, outthink

bleed profusely: exsanguinate, hemorrhage

broadcast widely: advertise, announce, disseminate, publicize

crawl down: descend, drop, sink, tumble

dance awkwardly: falter, flounder, stumble, trip

eat greedily: demolish, devour, gobble, scoff

examine carefully: analyze, dissect, investigate, scrutinize, study

fall softly: drift, float, glide, hover, waft

fill completely: cram, load, overfill, overload, pack, stuff

fly high: climb, rise, soar, wheel

hesitate slightly: delay, falter, fumble, pause, stutter

laugh nervously: giggle, tee-hee, snigger, titter

look everywhere: explore, hunt, scour, search, seek

move away: disappear, emigrate, leave, migrate, relocate

move forward: advance, continue, evolve, proceed, progress

react sadly: blubber, cry, snivel, wail, weep

run happily: cavort, dance, frolic, gambol, romp, skip

say jokingly: jest, joke, josh, mock, rib, tease

sing beautifully: croon, harmonize, trill, warble

sing atrociously: bellow, grate, growl, howl, yowl

sip appreciatively: appreciate, enjoy, relish, savor

smile broadly: beam, glow, grin, shine

speak clearly: articulate, enounce, enunciate

speak haltingly: stammer, splutter, stutter

speak rudely: curse, insult, slight, slur, swear

step delicately: creep, glide, mince, pussyfoot, tiptoe

step smartly: march, parade, promenade, stride, strut

stroke gently: caress, fondle, pat, smooth, touch

talk incessantly: chatter, gabble, gibber, gossip, prate

understand thoroughly: comprehend, fathom, get, grasp

wait impatiently: fret, fuss, pace, scowl, stew, worry

watch carefully: pursue, scrutinize, shadow, stalk

work carefully: maneuver, methodize, micromanage, nitpick, obsess

work [diligently, hard]: labor, moil, slog, strive, sweat, toil

write later: dawdle, daydream, delay, postpone, procrastinate

absolutely adore: adulate, cherish, idolize, revere, worship

completely destroy: annihilate, decimate, devastate, ruin

happily assist: contribute, cooperate, enlist, offer, volunteer

seriously consider: contemplate, envisage, mull, propose

silently judge: appraise, assess, evaluate, scrutinize

Master List of Word-Count Reduction Posts for Writers