Will Your Work in Progress Kill a Forest?

A tree can provide enough paper for about 100 books, so your WIP shouldn’t kill a forest. Or even one tree.

But you’ve decided it’s necessary to trim words.

Examine the previous sentence. Have you decided it’s necessary to trim words, or do you need to trim words?

Let’s rephrase:

But you need to trim words.

Cutting 100 instances of decided to from a novel, with edits similar to the above, could prune 200 words.

Do You Distance Readers from Your Narrative?

Does a character start something, or just do it, period? Must a protagonist think about performing an action, or simply perform it, period?

Fire up your editing chainsaw and trim the side shoots. Your narrative will improve, and your word count will decrease.

Watch Words and Phrases Similar to These

Review the following sentences. In each pair, the second is shorter. Decide whether subtle changes in nuance are important, and hack away whatever you don’t need.

The figures in square brackets indicate the number of words saved.

begin
The hikers began to climb the steep slope.
The hikers climbed the steep slope. [2 words]

Unless the hikers encounter an obstacle during the climb, is there a need to state that they began to climb?

start
Starting to whine, the boy sucked his thumb.
The boy whined and sucked his thumb. [1 word]

Would the boy whine at the same time as he sucks his thumb? Probably not. The present continuous form of start (starting) in the first sentence indicates concurrent action. The subsequent action in the second sentence makes more sense.

commence
Mother commenced to rant about late sleepers.
Mother ranted about late sleepers. [2 words]

Note the stronger image evoked by the edit. I’ve never liked commenced to. It sounds stuffy, although it might suit a stodgy narrator.

choose to
Before dressing, Jon chose to look at his butt in the mirror.
Before dressing, Jon looked at his butt in the mirror. [2 words]

Would anyone choose to look rather than just look? If Jon is hesitant to inspect his butt because he’s afraid of what he might see, the first sentence might work. However, context should show why he’s in this mental state, which leaves my vote with the second sentence.

come to a decision to
Dad came to a decision to drink wine instead of beer.
Dad drank wine instead of beer. [5 words]

If the storyline shows why this scene requires a significant decision, the first sentence might work. But the second sentence — my choice — suggests a decisive Dad.

decide to
The teacher decided to skip the sex-education lesson.
The teacher skipped the sex-education lesson. [2 words]

There’s no need to mention that the teacher decided to skip the lesson, unless perhaps an irate parent has indicated a problem with the subject matter, and the teacher is reacting to that parent.

elect to
The old man elected to sit next to the fireplace.
The old man sat next to the fireplace. [2 words]

As with the teacher, there’s no need to mention the thought process behind the old man’s action, unless his choice plays a meaningful role in the story.

embark on
He embarked on the most dangerous journey of his life.
He suffered the most dangerous journey of his life. [1 word]

A strong verb draws us into the story and saves one word.

get going
The team got going on the project and finished it before midnight.
The team finished the project before midnight. [5 words]

The important point is that the team finished the project. There’s no need to mention they got going on it, unless perhaps a time is given. Even then, started would be shorter than got going on.

get to work on
Twenty students got to work on the stage settings.
Twenty students worked on the stage settings. [2 words]

Similar to the previous set of sentences, there’s no need to mention that the students got to work on the stage settings.

get underway
Before the concert could get underway, he needed to tune his guitar.
Before the concert, he needed to tune his guitar. [3 words]

Unless the guitar tuning delays the concert, is there any need for the longer phrasing in the first sentence?

make a decision to
The model made a decision to abstain from dessert.
The model abstained from dessert. [4 words]

We can assume the model’s decision to abstain from dessert. It would be a stereotypical habit. Do we need to mention it?

opt to
Brandon opted to go out with the brunette rather than the blonde.
Brandon went out with the brunette rather than the blonde. [2 words]

Readers will assume Brandon made a choice when they see rather than, which implies he opted for the brunette.

Scrutinize Words and Phrases like These as Well

Whenever possible, create direct phrasing. Many of the following have the potential to distance readers from your narrative.

activate
bring about
bring to pass
contemplate
consider
enter upon
initiate
instigate
introduce
launch
pioneer
plunge into
propose
set in motion
set off
speculate about
think about

Clichés and Idioms

Hackneyed expressions might suit dialogue, but they add to word count. When appropriate, delete the following or replace them with shorter alternatives.

chew over
get cracking on
get down to business
get off the ground
get one’s feet wet
get something off the ground
get the ball rolling
get the show on the road
get things rolling
go at something
have a go at something
kick off
lay the foundation for
play around with
sow the seeds
start the ball rolling
turn one’s hand to
weigh the options
weigh up

Master List of Word-Count Reduction Posts for Writers