How This Series of Posts Started

A Facebook friend, whose WIP (work in progress) was almost 114,000 words, asked me if I had any tips for reducing word count. Turns out he was not alone. Other writers have posed the same question.

Is your novel approaching the length of War and Peace? This post, the first in a multipart series, will help you whittle it down to manageable size.

Guideline #1: Streamline Action Scenes

Scrutinize the following paragraph.

Warner’s breathing hitched more with every exhausting step. Fourteen floors. Ten steps in each flight. Let’s see, he thought, that’s a hundred and forty steps — better than a step workout. He could hear the monster’s acrid breath one flight below. He increased his pace, but the monster gained on him. Still no relief from the total blackness of the stairwell. But what was that? A glimmer of light?

An action scene should move quickly. Readers don’t want superfluous details while they’re caught up in the excitement.

What could we delete?

Warner’s breathing hitched more with every exhausting step. Fourteen floors. Ten steps in each flight. Let’s see, he thought, that’s a hundred and forty steps — better than a step workout. He could hear the monster’s acrid breath one flight below. He increased his pace, but the monster gained on him. Still no relief from the total blackness of the stairwell. But what was that? A glimmer of light?

Although the human mind might wander during stressful moments, readers don’t need to experience a character’s internal monologue unless it’s terse. And they might not realize why, but unnecessary words such as total and of the stairwell irritate them. They want to find out what happens next. Now. It’s your job to give readers what they want.

Edited Versions

Warner’s breathing hitched more with every step. He could hear the monster’s acrid breath one flight below. He increased his pace, but the monster gained on him. Still no relief from the blackness. But what was that? A glimmer of light?

Further edits could trim even more:

Warner gasped. The monster’s acrid breath hissed one flight below. He sprinted, but the monster gained on him. Still no relief from the blackness. But what was that? A glimmer of light?

Note the Strong Verbs

Also note the removal of he could hear. Filtering events through a character’s senses distances readers from the action.

You might find additional ways to trim the paragraph, but we’ve already cut it by more than thirty words.

How many action scenes does your WIP contain? Analyze each one and peel away everything that detracts from the narrative.

Tip: Copy and paste each wordy action scene into a separate document. Keep all your edits, similar to the foregoing examples. Then, compare your final version to the original. If you like it, copy it back into your WIP and save the edits just in case you need them for future revisions.

Guideline #2: Minimize Staging

Here’s another paragraph that cries for edits.

Tina got out of her chair, with a cup of coffee in one hand, and walked quickly to her cellphone that sat on the table on the other side of the living room. She picked it up and looked at the screen. “Mom. Again,” she soliloquized. Then she scowled as she put down her coffee and accepted the call. “What is it this time, Mom?”

Do readers need to be told that Tina got out of her chair?

What about the coffee? Does it add anything to the scene? If she spills it on her way to the phone and it provides a bit of humor or suspense, perhaps it might. Otherwise, it’s just verbosity.

Do we need to mention Tina picking up the phone and looking at the screen? Maybe one or the other is all that’s necessary.

We shouldn’t need to mention her acceptance of Mom’s call, either, or her soliloquy.

Let’s Give It Another Shot

Tina hurried to her cellphone and looked at the screen. “Mom. Again.” — “What is it this time, Mom?”

Note the omission of Tina’s scowl. The emphasis of again by putting the word in a separate sentence shows her displeasure. No need to bloat the scene, right? And as much as I shun exclamation points, the following might provide a better reader experience.

Tina hurried to her cellphone and looked at the screen. “Mom. Again!” — “What is it this time, Mom?”

Tip: Read each action scene out loud as though you were a sports broadcaster for a thrilling game. Does it sound exciting? If not, return to edits, perhaps shortening sentences and slashing some of your phrasing that seemed brilliant at one time but now comes across as purple prose.

Guideline #3: Analyze Every Adverb

Note: I didn’t recommend that you remove every adverb. However, judicious deletions and replacements strengthen narrative.

Before you search your WIP for these oft denigrated parts of speech, review the following definition.

adverb: a word or phrase that modifies a verb, adjective, or another adverb.

Although many adverbs end in –ly, so do numerous adjectives and other parts of speech.

Let’s study a sentence in which the adverbs have been underlined.

George moved quickly toward the absolutely beautiful car and somewhat tentatively touched it.

Quickly modifies the verb moved, absolutely modifies the adjective beautiful, somewhat modifies the adverb tentatively, and tentatively modifies the verb touched.

Although three of the adverbs end in –ly, one doesn’t.

Let’s change the wording:

• moved quickly = rushed
• absolutely beautiful = gorgeous
• somewhat tentatively touched = stroked

Edited version:

George rushed toward the gorgeous car and stroked it.

Or you might wish to retain one adverb:

George rushed toward the gorgeous car and tentatively stroked it.

Common Adverb Offenders

As already mentioned, many adverbs don’t broadcast their identities with –ly endings. Here are a few, some of which function as multiple parts of speech:

• afar
• afterward
• almost
• already
• always
• anywhere
• besides
• everywhere
• forever
• here
• just
• later
• moreover
• much
• nearby
• never
• next
• now
• nowadays
• often
• quite
• rather
• so
• someplace
• somewhere
• soon
• then
• thereafter
• thus
• today
• tomorrow
• too
• very
• where
• wherever
• yesterday
• yesteryear
• yet

You’re probably familiar with your personal adverb nemeses. Search your WIP for each one and ask yourself if it’s necessary.

Do you need to say just get by or scrimp? just get worse or worsen?

very old or ancient? very beautiful or gorgeous?

quite surprised or astonished? quite tired or exhausted?

almost every day or often? almost all or most?

Tip: Exploit your word processor to find quick options. For instance, a search for old in MS-Word’s thesaurus provides several alternatives, including ancient, hoary, and archaic, all of which provide better visuals than very old.

Guideline #4: Cultivate Your Writer’s Voice

Not every instance of internal monologue during an action scene is bad. Ditto with staging and adverbs in any scene.

You are in control.

Your writing should seem natural, not straightjacketed by rules that don’t suit your writer’s voice.

Tip: After each major round of edits, try to ignore your WIP for a few days or longer. Awkward narrative, extraneous words, and typos will be more obvious when you return to your work, especially if you read it out loud.

Master List of Word-Count Reduction Posts for Writers