What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the thirty-second in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are Often in the Definitions

Should we lean on those useless redundancies and persuade them to take a walk?

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions.

And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

1. The HOA has not responded back to our request.
2. Thousands and thousands of people pushed toward the stage.
3. It’s not really clear exactly when he plans to return.
4. The shelf up above her head was crammed full with books.
5. He tried a light tentative pat to calm her down, but she glared at him and shoved him away.
6. That was something that was tried years ago.
7. They wanted nothing more than to flee, but avalanche detritus blocked the path.
8. The Yorkie looked like nothing so much as a drowned rat.
9. The cicatrix of the scar on her knee was an ugly purple.
10. The tornado flattened the buildings to the ground.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1: The HOA has not responded back to our request.

respond: answer back

Alternate wording: The HOA has not [reacted, replied] to our [application, demands, petition, ultimatum].

Edit #2: Thousands and thousands of people pushed toward the stage.

People often use the phrase thousands and thousands in dialogue. However, a better approach for narrative would be phrasing such as tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands.

Alternate wording: [A horde, Droves, Masses, A multitude] of people [elbowed, jostled, rushed, swarmed] toward the stage.

Edit #3: It’s not really clear exactly when he plans to return.

Does the edited sentence convey the meaning? Then why would you want to qualify it by adding unnecessary adverbs?

Alternate wording: It’s not [certain, evident, known] when he [expects, intends, means] to return.

Or try something like this: Nobody knows when he’ll return.

Edit #4: The shelf up above her head was crammed full with books.

above: overhead; up; higher than

cram: fill something so that there is no room for anything else

Alternate wording: The [highest, overhead, top, upper] shelf was [brimming, overflowing, teeming] with books.

Even better: The [highest, overhead, top, upper] shelf [brimmed, overflowed, teemed] with books.

Edit #5: He tried a light tentative pat to calm her down, but she glared at him and shoved him away.

pat: a light stroke with the hand

Many editors would also recommend the deletion of down.

Alternate wording: He [attempted, endeavored, tried, ventured] a tentative pat to [appease, pacify, quieten] her, but she [frowned, glowered, scowled] at him and shoved him away.

Note the strikeout of at him. Readers will understand who the recipient of the action is.

Edit #6: That was something that was tried years ago.

Once again, does the edited sentence convey the desired meaning? Then why would we need three extra words, including one that repeats the word preceding the phrase?

Even better: We tried that years ago.

Alternate wording: That was [evaluated, experimented with, tested] [after __________, before __________, when __________].

Edit #7: They wanted nothing more than to flee, but avalanche detritus blocked the path.

Here’s a third example of a sentence whose meaning isn’t altered by removing three superfluous words.

Alternate wording: They [needed, wished, yearned] to [escape, run away, take flight], but avalanche detritus blocked the path.

Edit #8: The Yorkie looked like nothing so much as a drowned rat.

The deleted phrase is closely related to nothing more than in the previous edit. In addition to the phrase’s superfluity, it relies on negativism — which often produces obscure connotations.

Alternate wording: The Yorkie [reminded me of, resembled] a [drenched squirrel, soggy bunny slipper].

Edit #9: The cicatrix of the scar on her knee was an ugly purple.

cicatrix: the scar that remains once a wound heals

Either cicatrix or scar would function in the sentence. However, cicatrix would puzzle many readers.

Alternate wording: The scar on her knee [grossed me out, spoiled her otherwise perfect leg, worried me].

Edit #10: The tornado flattened the buildings to the ground.

flatten: raze a something like a building to the ground

Alternate wording: The tornado [decimated, demolished, destroyed, wiped out] the buildings.

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers