What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the twenty-eighth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are in the Definitions

It’s time to hammer away at those uncalled-for redundancies.

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with each edit.

And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

1. In some places the trail widened out, and in others it narrowed.
2. Their shared love affair was the scandal of all the dirt rags.
3. Then it was that she opened her eyes to see what had made the noise.
4. He shook his head no and slumped in his chair.
5. How much did you lose in terms of profits because of the pandemic?
6. The debate will broadcast in twelve different languages.
7. The mouthwash ad said GenuBreath would restore people’s gums back to perfect health.
8. The protester flipped the sign over.
9. Are you concerned about your own personal safety?
10. The embezzler hid his ill-gotten gains in an offshore account in another country.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1: In some places the trail widened out, and in others it narrowed.

widen: open out; spread out; make or become wider

Alternate wording: In some places the trail [encompassed ancient gravesites, almost disappeared in meadowlands, was wider than the Appian Way], and in others it [squeezed through clefts in the escarpment, could only be traversed in single file, shriveled to arrow-quiver size].

Edit #2: Their shared love affair was the scandal of all the dirt rags.

love affair: a romantic (usually sexual) relationship between lovers

It would be impossible to have such a relationship unless it were shared. Many editors would cut even more: Their affair was the scandal of all the rags

affair: a sexual relationship between lovers, where one or both partners is married to someone else

Alternate wording: Their affair [set fire to the scandalmongers, turned Hollywood into a babble of “he said” “she said” rumors, resulted in three illegitimate children].

Edit #3: Then it was that she opened her eyes to see what had made the noise.

Hint: Whenever you see it was, re-read the text. You can usually rephrase and create a more concise sentence.

Alternate wording: When [the door opened, the gun went off, the floorboards creaked] she [opened her eyes to see if the stalker had found her, grabbed a knife and rolled under the bed, dialed 911].

Edit #4: He shook his head no and slumped in his chair.

If someone asks you a question and you shake your head, what does your headshake mean? It means no. Therefore no is redundant in the example sentence.

Related: he shook his head negatively.

Perhaps you could have the character yell, “Never in a million years” or respond with appropriate facial expressions.

Or …

Alternate wording: He [pointed to the door and looked at the boy with an expression that could freeze a furnace, stomped away and slammed the door, scrawled a huge NO on the memo and taped it to his coworker’s nose].

Edit #5: How much did you lose in terms of profits because of the pandemic?

profit: financial gain; revenue

If context is unclear, the sentence could be reworded slightly: How much money did you lose because of the pandemic?

Alternate wording: How much [did you give up, forfeit, sacrifice] because of [the flagging economy, decreased sales, travel restrictions]?

Edit #6: The debate will broadcast in twelve different languages.

different: not the same; separate; distinct

If the debate is broadcast in twelve languages, they would have to be different languages.

Alternate wording: The multilingual debate [will appear on several channels, will rebroadcast on social media, will broadcast as far as Pluto].

Edit #7: The mouthwash ad said GenuBreath would restore people’s gums back to perfect health.

restore: bring back to a previous condition or state

Alternate wording: The mouthwash ad claimed [GenuBreath’s magic would last for two days, GenuBreath was better than sex, GenuBreath would regrow missing teeth].

Edit #8: The protester flipped the sign over.

flip: turn over or make something turn over quickly

Alternate wording: The protester [flipped the sign and then flipped the mayor the finger, upended the sign and stomped on it, overturned the sign and painted it with obscenities].

Edit #9: Are you concerned about your own personal safety?

own: specific to the person or thing mentioned; personal

personal: own; private

your: belonging to or associated with the person or people mentioned

Alternate wording: Are you [nervous, troubled, worried] about your [security, lack of weapons, vehicle’s armor plating]?

Edit #10: The embezzler hid his ill-gotten gains in an offshore account in another country.

offshore: made, situated, or registered in another country with less restrictive tax measures

Alternate wording: The [alien klepto, giant ant, colossal squid] hid [its booty of pilfered biopods on the moon, its plunder in the church basement, the SCUBA divers’ equipment under a coral outcrop].

booty: pilfered goods, especially seized in war;

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers