What Are Redundancies?
These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.
About The Quiz
This quiz, the twenty-sixth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.
They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.
The Answers Are Usually in the Definitions
Let’s toss buckets of water onto those superfluous redundant words and watch them fizzle.
In most cases, you should recognize the unnecessary words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with each edit.
And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.
Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?
- He vented the air out through the left portside tube.
- The yard was entirely enclosed by a six-foot cedar fence.
- Her jog continued on toward the spot where she had seen the stray dog.
- The tree lay just east of the boundary line between the two acreages.
- Going forward, Human Resources will review and assess all claims of harassment.
- Waves of water sped toward the shore.
- On soft padded feet, the panther stalked its prey.
- Every time she had just one square of chocolate, she craved for more. And more. And before she knew it, the entire bar would be all gone.
- Her skills were adequate enough for her duties.
- The building burned completely to the ground.
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
Suggested Edits
Edit #1: He vented the air out through the left portside tube.
vent: let out; drive out; pour out
portside: left (side)
Alternate wording: He [discharged, dispersed, exhausted, expelled] the [blood, chocolate sauce, sewage, toxic fumes] through [a hidden outlet, a narrow hose, a secret vent, a large siphon].
Edit #2: The yard was entirely enclosed by a six-foot cedar fence.
enclose: close in; surround; close off on all sides
Alternate wording: The [cell, island, obelisk, subterranean crypt] was [flooded with, surrounded by, encrusted with, beset by, embedded in] [hydrogen cyanide gas, thousands of Viking vessels, jewels, limestone].
Edit #3: Her jog continued on toward the spot where she had seen the stray dog.
continue: carry on; keep on; go on
You might want to retain the spot, but when you read the sentence without those two words, does it still make sense?
Alternate wording: She [inched, slunk, plodded, raced] toward where she had seen [the birds circling, her intended victim, her fiancé, the bomb shelter].
Edit #4: The tree lay just east of the boundary line between the two acreages.
boundary: a dividing line; a line that indicates the limit of an area
between: separating two objects or areas
Alternate wording: The [cellphone, corpse, backpack, sword] lay [on a table, under a tree, next to a sleeping bag, beside the snoring sleeper] [between the intruder and the only exit, next to the retaining wall, filled with bullet holes, clutched in his left hand].
Edit #5: Going forward, Human Resources will review and assess all claims of harassment.
going forward suggests a progressive and continuing process
review: to assess or examine something or someone with intent to introduce changes if necessary
The modal auxiliary verb will indicates the intent of the Human Resources department to do something.
You might want to keep assess instead of review. The beauty of redundancies is that they are often interchangeable.
Alternate wording: Human Resources will [change operation procedures, respond to all claims of harassment, implement sensitivity training in all departments].
Edit #6: Waves of water sped toward the shore.
wave: water that curls into an arched shape
Unless your work in progress refers to something like blood, chocolate, heat, etc., readers will envision waves of water.
Alternate wording: Waves [threatened to sink the boats, tossed the men high into the air, towered over the surfers].
Edit #7: On soft padded feet, the panther stalked its prey.
padding: soft material; cushioning
padded: covered or filled with soft material; cushioned
Alternate wording: The [snake, panther, serial killer, wolves] [slithered toward the wild boar, crept toward the strange-smelling creature from the sky, skulked toward the police car, prowled toward the barnyard].
Edit #8: Every time she had just one square of chocolate, she craved for more. And more. And before she knew it, the entire bar would be all gone.
crave: experience a strong desire for something or someone
gone: used up; spent; consumed
Your editor would likely delete entire as well. If the bar is gone, of course it would be the entire bar.
Alternate wording: The mere [hint, smell, taste] of [cinnamon, blood, coffee] spurred [a craving, a hunger, a thirst] that couldn’t be quenched with just one [churro, drop, cup]
Edit #9: Her skills were adequate enough for her duties.
adequate: enough; sufficient
Alternate wording: Her skills were [mediocre, passable, satisfactory, unremarkable] and would never [allow advancement in the company, lead to the raise she coveted, lead to a position in the head office].
Edit #10: The building burned completely to the ground.
to the ground: completely; absolutely
Or you might prefer: The building burned completely.
Alternate wording: The [forest, monument, pyramid, skyscraper] [was reduced to ashes, dematerialized, exploded, disintegrated].
Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
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#3 almost got me but I have learned to be carful.
#5 An assesment is not a review, but a review is an assesment. “Tricky”
#6 Sound waves can go across to shore too. (I live on a lake and boy does the sound travel.)
#8 You snagged me on “for” Darn you Kathy,
“Great Fun”
Your comments made me smile, Jay. 🙂 I try my best to include a few snags.
Thanks for taking the quiz and for all your social media support.
Have a great day!
Hi Miss Kathy,
Yikes, tricky quiz. More than one redundancy in some of the sentences. Not fair!
Here’s my poor score.
I missed half of #1, #3, and #8. I missed all of #4.
To show you I’m not a complete blockhead, I deleted “just” from #4.
Thanks for another cool quiz.
Stay safe. Stay cool. Be happy.
Fist bumps.
The little mischief-maker on my shoulder grins and nudges me as it says, “You shouldn’t take such malicious delight in preparing these quizzes.”
I smile. “Where’s the challenge if everyone gets 100% every time?”
[Here’s where something sassy and thought-provoking is supposed to come out of the mischief-maker’s mouth.]
Thanks for doing the quiz, Lenny. You’re far from being a blockhead. “Just” was a good catch.
Cool fist bumps and warm thoughts!
Oh dear. I’ve patted myself on the back many times for doing well on these quizzes, but today I missed quite a number.
They can’t all be easy, right? *wink*
Thanks for trying the quiz, V.M., and stay cool while you write your latest book!