What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the nineteenth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are in the Definitions

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with each edit.

And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

1. James waved the palm of his hand over the water and mumbled an indistinct incantation.
2. She could never forget her past memories. They haunted her waking moments and her nightmares.
3. By stealth, they quietly broke the neck of the only sentry and penetrated into the stockade.
4. The very next day, he marched into the principal’s office and demanded another chance.
5. The next-door neighbor is a close personal friend of mine.
6. She was forced to pick and choose only three employees to accompany her.
7. He ordered a large Hawaiian pizza pie and a can of orange soda.
8. The old woman plunged down into the stream and hit her head on the bottom.
9. Because of the pandemic, they had to postpone the meeting until later.
10. The rain poured down into every crack and crevice of their temporary shelter.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1:  James waved the his palm of his hand over the water and mumbled an indistinct incantation.

mumble: speak indistinctly or quietly

palm: the inner surface of the hand between the bottom of the wrist and the bottoms of the fingers

This works as well: James waved his hand over the water … . It would be counterintuitive for him to wave the back of his hand over the water.

Alternate wording: James [dangled, flapped, windmilled] his [fingers, gnarled hands, claws, paws] over the [cauldron, grimoire, pages] and mumbled [a curse, an invocation, a magic spell].

Edit #2: She could never forget her past memories. They haunted her waking moments and her nightmares.

memory: remembrance of something from the past

Alternate wording: She could never [dismiss, disregard, ignore] her memories. They [beset, plagued, terrified, terrorized] her [at every turn, mercilessly, relentlessly, without end].

Perhaps the memories should be identified: childhood memories, college memories, police academy memories, war memories, etc.

Edit #3: By stealth, they quietly broke the neck of the only sentry and penetrated into the stockade.

stealth: quiet, surreptitious  movement

penetrate: force a way into or through something

Alternate wording: [Under the cover of darkness, While the battle raged miles away, Without a sound], they broke the neck of the only sentry and [crept, skulked, slunk] into the stockade.

Edit #4: The very next day, he marched into the principal’s office and demanded another chance.

next: the first following the present one or the one just mentioned; occurring immediately afterward

Alternate wording: The next day, he [flounced, stalked, trudged] into the principal’s office and [appealed for, insisted on, pleaded for] another chance.

Edit #5: The next-door neighbor is a close personal friend of mine.

personal: relating to one particular person

mine: referring to things belonging to a person (the speaker)

Many editors would remove the last two words and rephrase: The next-door neighbor is a close friend.

Alternate wording: The next-door neighbor is [a former classmate, my best friend, my enforcer, my only confidant].

Edit #6: She was forced to pick and choose only three employees to accompany her.

pick: choose from multiple alternatives

choose: pick from multiple alternatives

You might prefer to remove and choose instead.

Alternate wording: She was [adjured, directed, instructed, ordered] to [appoint, designate, name, select] only three [accountants, bodyguards, snipers] to accompany her.

Edit #7: He ordered a large Hawaiian pizza pie and a can of orange soda.

pizza: a flat pie consisting of a thin layer of bread dough covered with tomato sauce, cheese, and other ingredients

Is it necessary to say a can of orange soda? Consider: He ordered a large Hawaiian pizza and an orange soda.

Alternate wording: He ordered a [buffalo, pepperoni, road-kill, veggie] pizza and a [blood cocktail, voodoo ale, zombie zinger].

Edit #8: The old woman plunged down into the stream and hit her head on the bottom.

plunge: suddenly move or fall down; dive

dive: come or drop down precipitously

Alternate wording: The old woman [leaped, lunged, nose-dived, plummeted] into the [crater, pool, tank, vat] and hit her head on the bottom.

Edit #9: Because of the pandemic, they had to postpone the meeting until later.

postpone: arrange for something to occur at a time later than initially planned

Alternate wording: Because of the [accident, bomb threat, catastrophe, emergency], they had to [leave the city, vacate the building, wear hazmat suits].

Edit #10: The rain poured down into every crack and crevice of their temporary shelter.

crack: crevice, fissure

crevice: crack, fissure

Whether you choose crack or crevice, you don’t need both.

Many editors would suggest removal of down, which is implied by the definition of pour.

Alternate wording: The rain [cascaded into, gushed into, infiltrated, percolated into, seeped into] every crevice of their [hut, lean-to, shack, tent, tepee].

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers