What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the eighteenth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are in the Definitions

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous extra words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with each edit.

And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

1. Several new recruits stood at attention while the commander inspected their uniforms.
2. The country dampened down the spread of disease by restricting cross-border travel.
3. Nostalgia for the past colored every one of his decisions.
4. My books are all totally free this month.
5. An ancient proverb says that you should never go to bed angry.
6. The dead bodies were tossed into an open trench and burned.
7. She shook her head from side to side and refused to go with him.
8. The document was originally created three years ago.
9. Inside in the living room, an aquarium video played on the television, while outside in the yard, twenty noisy kids played tag.
10. She always overexaggerated her successes and understated her failures.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1:  Several new recruits stood at attention while the commander inspected their uniforms.

recruit: a newly enlisted and untrained member of the military, a group, an organization, etc.

The example sentence could change dramatically from the perspective of a rancher, a CEO, a crime boss, or …?

Alternate wording: Several [cadets, draftees, greenhorns, hayseeds, novices, plebes, pledges, volunteers] stood at attention while the [fraternity president, leader, mayor, sergeant, skipper] inspected their uniforms.

Edit #2: The country dampened down the spread of disease by restricting cross-border travel.

dampen: tone down; reduce; diminish; stifle

Alternate wording: The country [controlled, curbed, held back, lessened, limited, restrained, stifled] the spread of disease by restricting cross-border travel.

Edit #3: Nostalgia for the past colored every one of his decisions.

nostalgia: sentimental longing for the past

Alternate wording: [Homesickness, Memories of his childhood] [affected, influenced, swayed] all his decisions.

Edit #4: My books are all totally free this month.

free: at no cost or charge

Alternate wording: My [audiobooks, digital sci-fi books, eBooks, Kindle books] are all free this month.

Depending on context, all might warrant deletion as well.

Edit #5: An ancient proverb says that you should never go to bed angry.

proverb: a well-known saying, usually of ancient origin, that provides advice based on truth

Alternate wording: [Academics, Intellectuals, Philosophers, Scholars] say you should never go to bed [until you’ve checked every crevice for spiders, with a moose, with dirty feet].

Readers appreciate a dash of humor when it suits the narrative.

Edit #6: The dead bodies were tossed into an open trench and burned.

body: cadaver, corpse, or carcass of a living organism

A writer might encounter instances where it’s necessary to distinguish between dead and living bodies. However, why not remove all doubt?

Alternate wording: The [cadavers, carcasses, corpses, remains, skeletons] were [chucked, dragged, dumped, heaved] into an open trench and burned.

Many writers and editors would redline open as well.

Edit #7: She shook her head from side to side and refused to go with him.

shake: move from side to side or up and down

If a character’s head moves up and down, that character is nodding; therefore, a shaking head would indicate side-to-side movement.

Alternate wording: She shook her head and [cursed at him, flung her purse at his face, kneed him in the groin, ran in the opposite direction].

Edit #8: The document was originally created three years ago.

create: originate; bring into existence

Alternate wording: The [manuscript, mural, painting, portrait, recipe, script, song] was created three years ago.

Most editors would prefer active case: [The chef, The musician, The painter, The writer] created the [recipe, song, portrait, script] three years ago.

Edit #9: Inside in the living room, an aquarium video played on the television, while outside in the yard, twenty noisy kids played tag.

living room: a room for relaxation inside an apartment or house; a parlor

yard: an area, often grassy and contained by shrubs or fences, outside a building

Alternate wording: Inside, [a nature video, spa music, water sounds] played on the television, while outside, twenty noisy kids played [capture the flag, hide and seek, kick the can, Simon says].

Edit #10: She always overexaggerated her successes and understated her failures.

exaggerate: overstate; overstress; magnify beyond the limits of what is true or possible

Alternate wording: She always [boasted, bragged, gloated] about her [conquests, triumphs, victories] and [downplayed, ignored, minimized] her [defeats, disasters, faux pas].

How Did You Do?

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers