Why Gasp?

“Laugh until you gasp for breath.” ~ George Carlin

“I will defend the importance of bedtime stories to my last gasp.” ~ J. K. Rowling

“Master, go on, and I will follow thee. To the last gasp with truth and loyalty.” ~ William Shakespeare

“Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased at birth only through gasping effort and pain.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

Sometimes a gasp is louder than a scream, but you might scream louder than any gasp if you find too many gasps in your writing.

Definition

gasp: to inhale suddenly with the mouth open, especially because of pain, surprise, or shock

Why Does Your Character Gasp?

A few emotions that could result in gasping include:

anxiety, aversion (to a strong smell), panic, awe, exasperation, frustration, fear, disbelief, shock, surprise, astonishment, startlement

Rather than say a character is gasping, try some of the following body language and reactions.

Anxiety, panic
rapid breathing
sweating
elevated heart rate (only obvious to POV character or medical professional)

Aversion to a strong smell
pinching one’s nose
holding an elbow over one’s face
gagging or retching

Awe
dropped jaw
inability to move
fixed gaze

Exasperation, frustration
puffed-out cheeks
clenched fists
bulging neck ligaments

Fear
sweating
shaking
mouth slightly ajar

Disbelief
frowning
cocking or shaking one’s head
tsk-tsking or tut-tutting

Shock
covering one’s mouth
staring with wide eyes
gaping

Surprise, astonishment, startlement
O-shaped mouth
wide eyes
dropped jaw

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Other Circumstances

Try reactions other than gasping in the following situations.

• exposure to cold (freezing water, frosty air, snow, ice, etc.): shivering, searching for shelter, cuddling up to another character
• insufficient oxygen in the air (high altitude, fire, carbon monoxide poisoning): panting, changing skin color, unconsciousness
• exercising: sweating, elevated heart rate (obvious to POV character or someone watching the workout display on exercise equipment), thirst
• pollution: watery eyes, itchy skin, wearing a medical mask, trying to find an oasis of clean air
• noxious odors: (see “aversion to a strong smell” in the previous section)
• any unexpected event: startlement, fleeing in the opposite direction, blushing, goosebumps

Some Medical Conditions Could Induce Gasping

Readers experience emotional involvement and sympathy when a story creates difficulties for characters. Sometimes medical conditions can generate those difficulties.

Research the following to see what symptoms besides gasping you might be able to introduce. This is only a small representation of disorders that might cause breathing difficulties or gasping.

• acid reflux (GERD)
• allergies
• anemia
• asthma
• broken heart syndrome
• cardiac arrest
• chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
• collapsed lung
• congestive heart failure
• COVID-19
• croup
• dyspnea
• hypnagogic jerk
• interstitial lung disease
• lung cancer
• myasthenia gravis (MG)
• obesity
• obstructive sleep apnea
• pleural effusion
• pneumonia
• pneumothorax
• postnasal drip
• pulmonary edema
• pulmonary embolism
• pulmonary fibrosis
• stroke
• sudden blood loss

The Medical Term for Gasping

A doctor might refer to gasping as agonal breathing or agonal respiration. Most characters wouldn’t recognize those terms, but a professor, scientist, or medical professional …?

How Could We Change the Following?

Each set begins with a sentence that is followed by another with suggested changes.

She gasped in pain and stanched the flow of blood.
She [grimaced, groaned, clenched her teeth] and stanched the flow of blood.

As he neared the summit, he gasped for breath.
As he neared the summit, he [stopped to calm his breathing, increased the flowrate of his oxygen cylinder, wiped rivulets of sweat from his brow].

The crowd gasped in awe when they heard her sing.
The crowd [joined hands, oohed and aahed, cheered] when they heard her sing.

She tried to gasp an apology but couldn’t catch her breath.
She tried to [apologize, beg forgiveness, say sorry] but couldn’t catch her breath.
Note the redundancy of gasp and catch her breath.

He gasped for air and breathed in water instead.
He [gulped, inhaled, swallowed] water when he tried to breathe [in the lake, in the river, in the pool].

All the fish in the lake came to the surface, gasping for air.
All the fish in the lake came to the surface, [seeking oxygen, seeking clean air, trying to escape the polluted water].

She gasped in surprise after the boss presented her with the Employee of the Month award.
She [hooted, raised both her fists, smiled, beamed] after the boss presented her with the Employee of the Month award.

Sound Effects

Some writers rely on phrases like the following to add sound effects to their writing. Try replacing them.

• gasping cries: shrieks, wails, yelps, noisy exclamations, outcries
• gasping sprinklers: buzzing sprinklers, whirring sprinklers, hissing sprinklers
• gasping bombers: backfiring bombers, stuttering bombers, spluttering bombers
• gasping voices: anxious voices, exasperated voices, shocked voices
• gasping sounds: whispers, sighs, buzzes, whirrs, chirrs, susurrations

• gasping rust bucket: rundown car, backfiring jalopy, rattletrap

Direct Replacements for the Verb Gasp

When you need a quick and easy replacement, one of the following verbs or phrasal verbs might be the solution you need. Note the subtle differences in meaning.

B to W
battle for air, battle for breath, breathe hard, breathe heavily, catch one’s breath, choke, fight for air, fight for breath, grunt, gulp, gulp for air, heave, huff, huff and puff, hyperventilate, inhale, labor to breathe, pant, puff, puff and blow, rasp, rattle, snort, snuffle, splutter, sputter, stammer, struggle for air, struggle for breath, suck in air, swallow, wheeze

Direct Replacements for the Noun Gasp

Here are more quick and easy replacements, this time for nouns. Once again, note the subtle differences in meaning.

B to W
battle for air, battle for breath, choke, drawing in of breath, fight for air, fight for breath, grunt, gulp, gulp of air, hard breath, huff, hyperventilation, inhalation, laboring breath, pant, puff, rapid breath, rasp, rattle, snort, snuffle, splutter, sputter, stammer, struggle for air, struggle for breath, swallow, wheeze

Clichés and Idioms

Although I couldn’t find a huge number of clichés and idioms that contain gasp, the few I did locate are grossly overused. If your WIP is overrun by gasps, phrases like the following could be part of the reason. Replace them wherever possible.

last gasp: moment before death, end, finish, termination

last-gasp effort: final attempt, last attempt, last-minute effort

to gasp (something) out: bellow, blurt, burst out, cry out, exclaim

to gasp for air/breath: See the list of verbs.

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