I Don’t Hate Dandelions
In all honesty, I don’t. You can cook their roots, create salads from their leaves, and ferment them to make wine. Some coffee substitutes contain dandelion roots; and I’m sure smart people have devised many other uses for these prolific yellow flowers.
However, too many dandelions can smother your lawn, just as too many adverbs (like just) can smother your writing.
You probably know how to root out ly adverbs (like probably in this sentence). But adverb weeds can hide where you least expect to find them.
Consider the First Sentence of the Previous Section
In all honesty, I don’t.
The following words exemplify an adverbial phrase that doesn’t really contribute to the meaning of the sentence:
in all honesty (honestly)
It’s more direct to say, “I don’t.”
And by deleting the phrase, I would have saved three words.
The Significance?
Word economy is important if you’re trying to tighten your writing — perhaps in a flash fiction story that’s a few words over the limit, or in a novel that’s beginning to look like War and Peace.
Reducing adverb fluff also produces a finished product that appeals more to readers. They might not realize why they prefer weeded story beds, but they know what stimulates and maintains their interest.
Another Example
with no attempt at concealment (openly)
Which sentence seems better?
- With no attempt at concealment, she revealed her true intentions.
- She disclosed her true intentions.
Doesn’t the second sentence say everything, in fewer words?
Consider the definition of disclose: to reveal new or secret information.
Let’s Look at One More Instance
in an excessively nosy manner (nosily)
Which sentence seems more direct?
- In an excessively nosy manner, Barry always had to know where Leigh Ann was going and what she was doing and who she was doing it with.
- Barry pried into Leigh Ann’s personal affairs.
Maybe the second sentence is too abrupt?
For emphasis, you might want to reword the first sentence by deleting the adverbial phrase:
Barry always had to know where Leigh Ann was going and what she was doing and who she was doing it with.
Barry’s actions show his nosiness.
Adverbs Are Everywhere
They can camouflage themselves as phrases, and the examples on this page are just a few of the many adverbial phrases you might encounter as you read and write.
Please check out my guest post at BooksByWomen.org, Adverbial Phrases Are Adverbs Too, for more examples and suggested edits.
The Writer’s Lexicon series
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For goodness sake, adverbs are fine, though personally I try to keep them to dialogue where they seem to belong. I am so tired of RULES about we can and can’t say.
Thanks, Rosie. Even Stephen King, who strongly (adverb) advises restraint with adverbs, uses them. The key is to avoid their overuse. Too many weaken writing. There’s a reason we have strong verbs and strong adjectives.
Nice piece. If you wish to tighten language I agree. Conversationally, however I absolutely, agree with a lovingly chosen adverb. We certainly use them in everyday speech. lastingly, normally, regularly, pluraly both pessimistically and optomisticaly, often realisticticly, strangely and elasticly. We do it determinedly (is that even a word).
Sorry. Just being silly. It is a good piece but I thought the point needed to be made that tightening language in a book is often a good thing. Dialogue however needs to echo the way a character would actually talk. Lol- i probably should internaly edit what I am going to say before I say it but most do not. Sadly, me too.
Thanks, Raymond. I agree that dialogue should sound real, as long as it doesn’t contain too many pauses and words such as “um” and “er.”
The phrases are good placeholders for an early draft – they indicate you may want to make sure the emphasis is precisely on the nose.
Removing all of the fluff can gut the required emphasis, but these are good places to work on saying what you want to emphasize with just the right size punch.
Cliches are a good place to start – I’ve trained myself to catch them on the first draft most of the time, but they’re pesky little weeds and some sneak through.
Thanks, Alicia. Yeah, sometimes it works best to nip those weeds in the bud, but they’re good at camouflage.
You are correct about adverbs concealing themselves.
This post is especially valuable because these adverbial phrases sneak in under the disguise of not being adverbs.
Thanks, V.M. They are sneaky little brats, aren’t they?