Remove Gratuitous Reflexive Pronouns

Although cutting reflexive pronouns won’t save a ton of words, removing them from short fiction could keep a WIP within submission parameters.

Generally when you eliminate one of these pests, you’ll save a single word. If you’re a heavy user of RPs, it could equate to hundreds of words in a long novel; and while you search for reflexives, you’ll notice other phrases you can streamline.

reflexive pronoun: a pronoun that refers back to the subject of the clause in which it appears; e.g. myself, herself, himself, yourself, oneself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves.

Me, myself, and I shake my head whenever I see abuses of reflexive pronouns — including the phrase me, myself, and I. As always, however, dialogue is an exception.

Are you ready? Examples speak louder than words. Scrutinize the following. In each case, the figure in parentheses shows the number of words saved.

Example #1

The hikers huddled under their blankets and tried to keep themselves warm.

The hikers huddled under their blankets and tried to keep warm. (1)

Who else would the hikers be trying to keep warm? bats? spiders? earthworms?

Example #2

That guy is in for a rude awakening, Ian thought to himself.

That guy is in for a rude awakening, Ian thought. (2)

Unless Ian has telepathic powers, he would always think to himself.

Example #3

She threw herself over the cliff.

She plunged over the cliff. (1)

A strong verb creates a vivid mental image and removes the reflexive.

Example #4

After a quick swim in the pool, Ron felt like himself again.

After a quick swim in the pool, Ron felt reinvigorated. (2)

reinvigorate: renew one’s strength; synonyms include revive, renew, and restore

The word root re- means back, again.

If Ron is reinvigorated, he would be back in the state he was in before the swim and would feel like himself again.

Example #5

The buckets emptied themselves of water, came around in another pass, and scooped up more water, repeating the process ten times per minute.

The buckets emptied, came around in another pass, and scooped up more water, repeating the process ten times per minute. (3)

Is there a need to say the buckets emptied themselves? The phrasing almost makes them seem sentient.

Readers should understand from context that the buckets contain water, so one instance of water was removed.

Example #6

I, myself, don’t intend to go to the party.

I don’t intend to go to the party. (1)

In some cases, myself might provide needed emphasis, but stressing I delivers a similar effect.

Example #7

The little boy dirtied himself in the mud.

The little boy wallowed in the mud. (1)

wallow: roll around or lie in mud, water, etc.

Can you see the little boy wallowing? Isn’t a strong verb more effective?

Example #8

With the lottery winnings, he decided to buy himself a mansion on the beach and a yacht.

With the lottery winnings, he decided to buy a mansion on the beach and a yacht. (1)

Context should tell readers whether the man makes purchases for himself or someone else.

Further edits could streamline even more:

With the lottery winnings, he bought a beach mansion and a yacht. (4)

Example #9

The toddler made herself a tent with the sofa cushions.

The toddler built a tent with the sofa cushions. (1)

We can assume the toddler is making the tent for herself, and a strong verb to replace made paints a stronger picture.

Example #10

Walt wanted to create a new life for himself in the Bahamas.

Walt wanted to create a new life in the Bahamas. (2)

Would Walt want to create a new life for someone else? (Context should indicate that Walt isn’t thinking about procreation.)

Example #11

They sat on logs around the campfire and gorged themselves on s’mores.

They sat on logs around the campfire and gorged on s’mores. (1)

gorge: fill oneself with food; devour, gobble, overeat

Since the definition of gorge already includes a reflexive, there’s no need to include it when writing.

Example #12

Hundreds of burrs attached themselves to our clothing as we fought through the dense underbrush.

Hundreds of burrs attached to our clothing as we fought through the dense underbrush. (1)

attach: fasten or join one thing to another; affix, cling, glue

Here’s another instance where themselves almost ascribes sentient qualities to an insentient object.

Example #13

The tourists enjoyed themselves at the party, filling up on cake and beer.

The tourists enjoyed the party, filling up on cake and beer. (2)

Would the tourists’ enjoyment be felt by anyone else but themselves?

Example #14

The students holed themselves up in a cave and waited for the deluge to stop.

The students holed up in a cave and waited for the deluge to stop. (1)

hole up: hide oneself away; seclude oneself

The definition already includes a reflexive.

Example #15

Kurt made himself a cheese sandwich slathered with mayonnaise and ketchup.

Kurt made a cheese sandwich slathered with mayonnaise and ketchup. (1)

Unless Kurt is making a cheese sandwich for another character in the story, there’s no need to say he’s the recipient.

Example #16

After almost dying, I vowed to myself I’d never eat another mushroom.

After almost dying, I vowed I’d never eat another mushroom. (2)

Who else would a character make a vow to? If it’s another person, that person should be mentioned.

Example #17

I owe myself a first-class flight and a penthouse suite, Wanda thought to herself as she booked her vacation.

I deserve a first-class flight and a penthouse suite, mused Wanda as she booked her vacation. (3)

Readers will know that Wanda thinks she owes herself when she books her own vacation.

muse: say to oneself in a thoughtful manner

You always think to yourself, right? So does Wanda. The strong verb muse, by definition, includes a reflexive pronoun and results in a more effective sentence.

Example #18

Len considered himself fortunate to have escaped the forest fire.

Len was fortunate to have escaped the forest fire. (1)

Does Len consider himself fortunate, or is he fortunate? Period?

Example #19

I can’t allow myself to lose my temper, and you shouldn’t either.

I mustn’t lose my temper, and you shouldn’t either. (3)

cannot: unable to

must not: should not

Cannot allow means that the person is unable to allow something. That’s not what this character is trying to say.

To maintain parallelism, the clauses on each side of and should have similar structures. Because must not and should not are comparable, they make better sense in this example, with no need for a reflexive pronoun.

Example #20

She calmed herself down, and dozed for a few minutes.

She relaxed, and dozed for a few minutes. (2)

relax: calm oneself

Even if you opt for calmed herself down, down is unnecessary.

Example #21

Writers need confidence in themselves.

Writers need confidence. (2)

confidence: self-assurance resulting from realizations of one’s own abilities or qualities

The definition of confidence already includes the embodiment of self. Writers need confidence. Period.

Example #22

“I will do it myself,” Sara said.

“I will do it,” Sara said. (1)

Emphasis of I reinforces Sara’s resolve to do it herself.

This might be an instance where said doesn’t provide the oomph the situation demands:

“I will do it,” Sara insisted.

Example #23

The mermaid let herself sink below the surface of the water, and she inhaled the salty elixir of life.

The mermaid submerged in the water and inhaled the salty elixir of life. (6)

sink: become submerged

Does the mermaid need to let herself sink?

Further edits could eliminate more words:

The mermaid submerged, and inhaled the salty elixir of life. (9)

Readers will know that the mermaid is submerging in water.

Example #24

He steeled himself, and waited for his opponent’s blow to hit.

He tensed, and waited for his opponent’s blow to hit. (1)

steel oneself: prepare for something difficult or unpleasant

tense: tighten or harden a muscle

In this example, tensed, without a reflexive pronoun, is a better verb.

Let’s save two more words:

He tensed, and waited for his opponent’s blow. (3)

Tip: Search for all instances of myself, herself, himself, yourself, oneself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, and themselves in your WIP. While you decide whether you should eliminate them, examine the rest of each sentence. You’ll often find additional opportunities to slash words.

PS: Sometimes removal of a reflexive pronoun results in a subtle change of tone. Does the change work for your WIP? Maybe the change is an improvement?

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