Redundancies Increase Word Count

Because of their overwhelming prevalence in writing, redundancies will be the focus of this post.

Hack and Slash Them

Hack and Slash is a prime example of a redundancy.

hack: slash; cut with rough or heavy blows

slash: hack; cut, typically with a sword or knife

Since hack could also refer to accessing a computer system without authorization, slash is probably the better of the two words.

Let’s consider a few more examples of extraneous words (also known as pleonasms) that bloat word count.

Example #1

Their past history showed that they had decided to plan ahead and that they had developed a regular routine that worked for all. However, the final result was still the same. Each and every one of the employees received an unexpected surprise that morning: a pink slip dismissing them from employment.

Did you catch every redundancy? Let’s look again.

Their past history showed that they had decided to plan ahead and that they had developed a regular routine that worked for all. However, the final result was still the same. Each and every one of the employees received an unexpected surprise that morning: a pink slip dismissing them from employment.

history: past events, especially those related to a particular group, country, time, etc.

plan: arrange ahead of time

routine: a regular sequence of procedures

result: the final outcome of a sequence of events or actions

each: every one of two or more people or things

pink slip: written notice of dismissal from employment

Note how the definitions embrace the meanings of the deleted words. Edits produce a streamlined version that’s easier to read and reduces word count by twenty-three.

They had developed a routine that worked for all. However, the result was still the same. Each of the employees received a surprise that morning: a pink slip.

Example #2

Without any advance warning, the virus completely annihilated all of the people in the village. For an extensive period of time, nobody would settle there, preferring the safe haven of huts outside the perimeter of the so-called “death zone.” However, on a sudden impulse years later, Orhan decided to call his followers together for an impromptu conference. Maybe they could call on the great spirits to eliminate the deadly plague.

Here’s how some editors might revise the example.

Without any advance warning, the virus completely annihilated all of the people in the village. For an extensive period of a long time, nobody would settle there, preferring the safe haven of huts outside the perimeter of the so-called “death zone.” However, on a sudden impulse years later, Orhan decided to call called his followers together for an impromptu conference. Maybe they could call on beseech the great spirits to eliminate the deadly plague.

warning: advance notice of an impending event

annihilate: destroy completely

haven: a safe place or refuge

Placing quotes around death zone implies so-called.

impulse: a sudden and unplanned compulsion

Must Orhan decide to do something, or should he just do it?

impromptu: spontaneous, unpremeditated

Since called has already been used in the previous sentence, beseech saves one word and provides a strong verb with more impact.

plague: a disease that causes high mortality

Let’s review the example without markup.

Without warning, the virus annihilated the people in the village. For a long time, nobody would settle there, preferring the haven of huts outside the perimeter of the “death zone.” However, years later, Orhan called his followers together for an impromptu conference. Maybe they could beseech the great spirits to eliminate the plague.

We now have a more engaging scene and save seventeen words.

Example #3

The trail wound its way through the dense underbrush in the direction of the lake. All of the boys took off trotting toward the very edge of the forest and peered out. What happened next caught them completely off guard. Total chaos reigned as a humongous waterspout doused them. As fast as humanly possible they tried to run away, but they were swallowed up by the vortex.

Initial Edit

The trail wound its way through the dense underbrush in the direction of the lake. All of the boys took off trotting trotted toward the very edge of the forest and peered out. What happened next caught them completely off guard. Total chaos reigned as a humongous waterspout doused them. As fast as humanly possible they tried to run away, but they were swallowed up by the vortex.

wound: took a twisting course

Is there any need to say that the trail took its way in a twisting course?

Although in the direction of could be shortened to toward, it already appears in the next sentence.

trotting: running at a moderate pace

Do we need to say that the boys took off running?

edge: the outside limit of something

If they’re trotting toward the outside limit of the forest, very is redundant.

chaos: total disorder and confusion

If we were to rewrite the sentence according to definition, total chaos could be interpreted as total total disorder and confusion.

Given the circumstances, readers would expect the boys to run away as fast as they could. However, as fast as humanly possible might meet the approval of some editors.

swallow: engulf

You wouldn’t say something or someone is engulfed up, so swallowed up, although it’s a common phrase, isn’t approved by many editors.

Revising the last sentence by removing they tightens it further.

Final Result

The trail wound through the dense underbrush in the direction of the lake. The boys trotted toward the edge of the forest and peered out. What happened next caught them off guard. Chaos reigned as a humongous waterspout doused them. They tried to run away but were swallowed by the vortex.

Edits result in a decrease of sixteen words.

Tip:

Redundancies are among the most annoying nuisances for writers, and learning how to spot them takes experience. Read the work of others to hone your redundancy awareness. And always keep a dictionary at hand.

For More Help See:

Master List of Word-Count Reduction Posts for Writers