Environmental Ambience Adds Depth to Writing

Do you take advantage of it?

The opening paragraph of Edward Bulwer-Lytton’s novel Paul Clifford reads in part:

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets … rattling along the house-tops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

Lytton’s words provide an atmosphere unlike what you’d expect on a sunny day. The chapter progresses, painting a desolate word-picture of a man searching for something in the gloom. The weather infuses the opening with emotion: a premonition that unpleasant events are about to unfold.

Beware overplaying the weather card, though. Readers will lose interest, especially if you rely on words they don’t understand.

Consider This Passage

Danny wasn’t looking forward to the suspension of door-to-door delivery. He had been a mail carrier for almost forty years, and he enjoyed his job.

This passage is pure tell. Although you might want to write something similar for micro fiction, the paragraph reads like a laundry list.

Almost forty years as a mail carrier, and now the big dogs at the top of the food chain intended to suspend door-to-door delivery. No more sunny days with a gentle wind in Danny’s face, no more tantalizing aromas from the corner bakery wafting into his nostrils. Heck, he’d even miss the wet-dog smell on days when the wind drove rain into every crevice and crack.

The second paragraph dips into show, referring to management in a deprecatory fashion, and contrasting Danny’s pleasant days with the not-so-pleasant by inclusion of wind and how it affects him.

What About This One?

North, south, east, or west. Which way should she go? Cassandra crouched inside the garage until the drones were gone.

How does Cassandra know the drones are gone? Although the paragraph does provide some suspense, it could improve.

North, south, east, or west. Which way should she flee? Cassandra crouched inside the drafty garage, shivering in her scanty rags, waiting, listening. The wind wailed outside, almost drowning the whirr of the search drones. She waited until all she could hear was a gentle breeze coaxing snow through the crack beneath the door.

The words flee and search add detail. Now we know Cassandra isn’t playing a game with neighborhood kids. The wind wails when she’s in danger and turns into a gentle breeze after the peril disappears.

Examples You Can Grab as Story Prompts

Note how weather augments each of the following scenes and provides a backdrop that steers readers toward an emotional response.

Scene #1

The fangs of the wind ripped at Wendell’s cloak. He braced against the onslaught, shouldering into the storm with fierce determination. Nothing would dissuade him from the grim task awaiting him this evil night.

A few key words, fangs, ripped, onslaught, grim, and evil, show that something unpleasant is afoot.

Scene #2

Puffy clouds — cotton balls in a blue sky filled with hope and cheer — billowed in the wind. Roxanne banked her anti-grav unit left at Causeway H-40.

She cursed.

This scene starts optimistic with words such as puffy, cotton balls, blue sky, hope, and cheer. We see a happy Roxanne.

Then she curses. Why? Does she collide with another anti-grav? encounter a traffic jam? see someone she doesn’t expect or want to see? Could you precede her curse with a thunderclap? a gale that steers her off course? the sight of a twister in the distance?

Scene #3

A ruthless gale hammered at the cliffs and churned the sea into a narrow channel. One bedraggled sail peeked out through a valley between two mountainous waves.

The grizzled lighthouse keeper bowed his head in silent prayer.

This excerpt bestows personality on the wind with ruthless, and likewise on the sail with peeked. Can you see the churning sea and bedraggled sail?

See Also:

• Temperature Words
• Onomatopoeic Sound Words
• Other Ways to Say “Sigh”
• Ways to Say “Noisy” or “Loud”
• Ways to Say “Cried”
• Water Words

Adjectives to Describe Wind

A to C
aggressive, alee, aweather, angry, Arctic, arid, biting, bitter, bleak, blustery, bracing, breezy, brisk, brutal, brutish, carefree, ceaseless, chilly, churning, constant, continual, cruel, cutting

D to G
damp, darting, driving, dry, dusty, east, easterly, energizing, evil, exhilarating, fair, feeble, feral, ferocious, fierce, foul, freezing, gale-force, gentle, gusty

H to L
harsh, high-pitched, hissing, hostile, hot, howling, icy, inexorable, inhospitable, inhumane, intense, intermittent, invigorating, keen, keening, light

M to O
merciless, mighty, moaning, moist, murmuring, nasty, never-ending, nippy, north, northerly, offshore

P to R
parching, penetrating, perpetual, persistent, piercing, potent, powerful, probing, quiet, raging, raw, refreshing, relentless, remorseless, robust, roiling, ruthless

S
sandy, savage, scorching, severe, sharp, shrill, sighing, slight, smoggy, smoky, soft, sooty, south, southerly, spirited, squally, steady, stiff, stimulating, stinging, sudden

T to Z
turbulent, unexpected, unrelenting, untamed, vicious, vigorous, violent, wailing, weeping, west, westerly, wet, whipping, whispering, whistling, wild, wintry, zesty

Verbs and Phrasal Verbs That Show Wind Movement and Activity

A to C
assail, assault, attack, batter, beat (against), billow, bite (into), blast, blow, bluster, breathe, burst (through), carry, channel, chill, churn, creep

D to H
drift, drive (into, through), drone, eddy, erode, fan, flagellate, flay, fling, float, flog, flow, force, freeze, gasp, glide, grab, gust, hammer, harangue, huff, hurl

I to R
impel, judder, keen, lament, lash, melt, moan, murmur, overcome, pound, propel, puff, pummel, punish, push (into, through), rage, rattle, roar, rush, rustle

S to V
scream, sculpt, seethe, seize, shake, shoot, sigh, sough, spin, squall, sting, stream, surge, sweep, swirl, swish, swoosh, take, thaw, thrash, thrust, vibrate

W to Y
waft (around, through), wail, wander, warm, wheeze, whine, whip, whirl, whisk, whisper, whoosh, worm, yowl

Nouns That Can Refer to, Replace, or Be Affected by Wind

B to D
bearing, Beaufort scale, blast, blizzard, bora, breeze, bubbles, burst, cape, chinook, cloudburst, current, curtains, cyclone, dandelion fluff, deluge, direction, downpour, draft, dust

E to H
energy, erosion, fan, fireflies, flag, flow, flurry, flying carpet, force, Frisbee, gale, generation, generator, glider, gnats, grit, gust, hail, hailstorm, hair, headwind, hot-air balloon, hurricane

K to R
kite, leaves, might, mistral, movement, onslaught, paper airplane, parachute, pinwheel, pollen, power, propeller, protection, rain, resistance, rotor, rush

S and T
sail, sailboat, shawl, shear, shelter, shower, simoom, sirocco, sleet, smog, smoke, snowstorm, speed, storm, strength, tailwind, tempest, thunderstorm, tornado, trade wind, turbine, twister, typhoon

V to Z
velocity, vigor, weather balloon, weather vane, whirlwind, wind tunnel, wind-chill factor, windmill, windstorm, windsurfing, zephyr