This is a reprint of one of my stories from Saturday Night Reader. You’ll also find it in Suppose: Drabbles, Flash Fiction, and Short Stories.

Learn about a couple of “parrot lovers” by following their series of online want ads.

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LOVING HOME WANTED for umbrella cockatoo named Lionel. Three years old. Excellent disposition and health. Good appetite. Doesn’t shriek much and talks well. Loves cuddle time. Goes to bed without making a fuss. A bit of a wood chewer, but he plays quietly when nobody is around. Includes cage and toys. This parrot must go by January 15 to make room for a new scarlet macaw. Seeking a reputable family with prior parrot experience. $1000. Contact JDoe388@mail.com to set up an interview.

GOOD HOME WANTED for scarlet macaw named Bella. Eight months old. Excellent disposition and health. Not a fussy eater. Doesn’t talk much yet, but she’s bright and learns quickly. Only squawks when wanting attention. Plays happily with her toys when nobody is around. Steps up willingly. A bit nippy. This bird must go by May 30 to make room for the hyacinth macaw we just purchased. Only seriously interested parties, please. $1000 OBO. Contact JDoe388@mail.com.

QUICK SALE WANTED for hyacinth macaw. Two years old. Excellent disposition and health. Not a picky eater. Talks lots and loves to say its name. Requires minimal attention. Goes poop on command. Comes with huge cage, toys, dishes, etc. We have to get rid of this bird within two weeks because we’re going to Europe. Contact soonest, JDoe388@mail.com.

PARROT WANTED. Couple with prior parrot experience seeks parrot that can talk and do tricks. No feather pickers, please. Must be well behaved, quiet, and in excellent health. Prefer a macaw, but will consider other breeds. Contact JDoe388@mail.com ASAP.

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You can read more short fiction like this in Suppose: Drabbles, Flash Fiction, and Short Stories.