Woot! Your WIP is Now a Novel

It’s ready for its first round of edits.

You start deleting, adding, and correcting.

You read ten pages out loud.

Uh-oh.

You reread them.

Aargh! Fourteen repetitions of turned.

What Next?

Let’s analyze why you might choose turn. We’ll start with Google’s definition:

turn: to move or cause to move in a circular direction wholly or partly around an axis or point.

A turn could be a change in direction or emotion. And a person can turn toward, not just away.

Why Would Someone Turn?

If you know what drives a character, you can substitute alternative body language or reactions.

“What’s my motivation?” an actor might ask before performing. Without an understanding of the impetus behind actions in each scene, the performance could come across as unrealistic.

Emotion Beats and Physical Manifestations

The following emotions might result in a full or partial turn:

agitation, confusion, contempt, deceit, defense, disapproval, disbelief, embarrassment, fear, disinterest, frustration, guilt, indifference, modesty, protection, reluctance, sadness, scorn, smugness, social anxiety

Consider the information below each underlined word to see a few different ways you could express it.

Agitation

sweaty palms

drumming fingers

tapping foot

nail-biting

Confusion

shifty eyes

frowning

wrinkling one’s nose

scratching or cocking one’s head to the side

Contempt

crossed arms

sneer

eyebrows drawn together

wrinkled nose

Deceit

balled up hands

lying

stuttering

chewing the inside of one’s cheek

Defense

clenched fists

sitting with crossed ankles

hands in one’s pockets

holding something, like a drink, in front of one’s body

Disapproval

blinking

rubbing one’s eyes

flared nostrils

clenched jaw

Disbelief

pursed lips

rubbing one’s nose

scratching one’s neck

dropped jaw

Embarrassment

trembling

nail-biting

slumping

massaging one’s forehead

Fear

elevated heart rate

wide eyes

recoiling

tense lips

Disinterest

straying glance

lack of eye contact

nonchalant stance

inspecting one’s fingernails

Frustration

thumbs clenched inside one’s fists

teeth grinding

kicking a tire or a wall

hands clasped behind one’s back

Guilt

false smile

grimace

changing the topic of conversation

avoidance of eye contact

Indifference

constantly checking one’s phone or watch

minimal response to conversation

no laughing at jokes

leaning away from speaker

Modesty

glancing away

covering oneself with arms or clothing

blushing

chewing on one’s lip(s)

Protection (from weather, bomb blast, speeding vehicle, etc.)

shielding one’s head or body with arms

flinching

diving to the ground

fleeing the scene

Reluctance

cleaning one’s glasses

fiddling with one’s hair

tapping one’s chin with fingers

tugging on an ear

Sadness

downturned mouth

lowering of head

tears

slumped posture

Scorn

curled lip

throbbing vein in forehead

snorting

putting one’s nose in the air

Smugness

trying to hide a smirk

puffed-out chest

authoritative voice

aloof manner

Social anxiety

hugging oneself

fidgeting

clearing one’s throat

retreating into a quiet room

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

A Person Might Turn to Hide:

• a black eye or facial bruising (embarrassment)
• breastfeeding (modesty, social anxiety)
• chocolate on the chin (deceit)
• clumsily applied lipstick or mascara (embarrassment)
• a festering pimple (embarrassment, social anxiety)
• a missing tooth (embarrassment, social anxiety)
• body piercing such as a ring in the nose (deceit, embarrassment)
• the smell of cigarettes on the breath (deceit)
• spinach in the teeth (embarrassment)

What could a character do instead of turning? Would any of the previously mentioned actions work?

Stand in front of a mirror and pretend you’re an actor. How else could you show the same emotions?

Verbs and Phrasal Verbs

Do you need direct replacements for turn?

You might find what you need in the following list.

Experiment with the words. Some can show emotion as well as movement. For example, a truck driver faced with a decision might change course or reverse direction. Embrace double meanings.

A to C

about-face, avoid, back off, backpedal, backtrack, bypass, cartwheel, change course, change direction, circumvent, coil, come about, corkscrew, curve left/right

D to G

detour, diverge, do a one-eighty/three-sixty, dodge, double back, elude, evade, face about, flee, flip, gee, go home, go the other way, gyrate, gyre

H to M

hang a left/right, haw, head back, hesitate, loop around, lurch, make a one-eighty, make an about-face, make a left/right, make a U-ey, make a U-turn, meander, merge left/right

O to R

orbit, oscillate, pirouette, pivot, reel, retrace one’s steps, retreat, return, reverse course, reverse direction, revolve, roll left/right, rotate

S

sidestep, snake, snap around, spin, spiral, steer left/right, sweep around, swerve, swing around, swirl, swivel

T to Z

take a left/right, thread, twine, twirl, twist, twizzle, veer, volte-face, wander away, weave, wend left/right, wheel, whip around, whirl about, wind, yaw, zig-zag