This is a reprint of one of my stories that appeared previously in Pidgeonholes.

Our narrator is determined to get satisfaction. Will she have enough room on her credit card?

—

January 12

A large box of the finest chocolate truffles, giftwrapped, topped with a red bow: $35.95

Cinnamon hearts, just in case Tamara doesn’t like chocolate: $5.00

Cinnamon hearts? Hmm. Maybe she won’t be keen on them either. What’s something nobody can resist? Ah. Assorted jelly beans — a flavor for every palate: $7.75

Bouquet of long-stemmed red roses: $74.99

Posh hotel suite reservation. Not sure which hotel to book. I’ll have to check the prices and see how much money is left on my credit card after I get the rest of the stuff I need. $???? $285.00

Missing You greeting card with velvet-flocked hearts. A disgustingly sappy lovey-dovey note forged with Jeremy’s signature and the room number. And lots of X’s and O’s on the bottom. Can’t go cheap on this, or Tamara might get suspicious: $9.95

Oh! Can’t forget a card for Jeremy, ditto, ditto, etc., etc., forged with Tamara’s signature. I can copy her handwriting from our school annual: $9.95

Sledgehammer to smash the memory card in the spy cam I hid last week. The spy cam that caught him cheating with her. Tamara. Ha! Tramp-mara. Trash-mara. Tart-mara: $54.99

Gun to kill them both, untraceable: $500.00?

Ammunition. Never done this before. Don’t know how much it’ll cost: $????

On second thought, no need for a gun. I’ll use the sledgehammer in the garage. One sledgehammer to crush her perfect porcelain complexion, to demolish Jeremy’s smug smile: $N/C

Heavy-duty tarp to wrap the body: $16.99

Guess I’ll need two tarps: $33.98

Rental car to dump the corpses and take my luggage to the airport: $49.99

Trip to Tahiti after I’m done: $5450.00

Satisfaction: Priceless

December 12

Unexpected expense: $50,000.00 (for the guy who’s going to break me out of this jail cell).

Satisfaction: $56,012.55