Here’s the fifth in a series of articles about so-called writing rules.
“Proper words in proper places make the true definition of style.” ~ Jonathan Swift
Swift’s advice deserves recognition, but should our writing style incorporate every directive regurgitated in books and on the web?
Today’s post discusses four more rules that are pounded into writers’ heads by editors, fellow writers, and [fill in the blank].
See also The Master List of So-called “Rules” for Writers.
Rule 19: Passive Voice Is Bad
Sonia Sotomayor said, “Each time I see a split infinitive, an inconsistent tense structure or the unnecessary use of the passive voice, I blister.”
Her aversion to passive voice echoes that of many editors and authors. Writers from Timbuktu to Tallahassee are warned that passive voice is evil, that sentences — and by extension, stories — in passive are weakened.
Can you spot the passive when you see it? The previous paragraph contains two instances.
Writers … are warned
Sentences … stories … are weakened
A quick test: Can you add by zombies to complete a phrase? If the answer is yes, you’ve pinpointed a passive construction.
Writers … are warned [by zombies]
Sentences … stories … are weakened [by zombies]
We could rewrite the passive paragraph this way:
Writing gurus warn writers from Timbuktu to Tallahassee that passive voice is evil. The passive voice weakens sentences — and by extension, stories.
Reread both versions of the paragraph. Which do you prefer? Each delivers a different tone.
If you want to save a surprise for the end of a sentence, passive may help. Likewise if you want to emphasize the recipient of the action rather than the entity performing it:
The bruised and beaten woman was treated by doctors, but they were unable to save her life.
In the previous sentence, the woman’s condition is the most important part of the thought. Note that she was treated by doctors, not by zombies. The by phrase is an excellent indicator of passive voice.
On Angela’s birthday, she was surprised by a personal letter and gift from her favorite author, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
Here, the writer provides suspense by hiding the identity of the gift’s sender until the final few words.
My boyfriend was killed. The gun was never found. But my innocence wasn’t doubted. Fools!
This triplet of passive sentences creates intrigue. Was the protagonist innocent? The final sentence provides a clue.
Narrative containing only active sentences may bore readers, and ditto for passive. Trust your intuition: Vary your sentence structure to include occasional passive when it suits your story.
Before proceeding to the next rule, consider the following adages. Would they retain their impact if they were converted from passive to active?
A liar is not believed when he tells the truth.
A man is known by the company he keeps.
A threatened blow is seldom given.
Ask no questions, and you’ll be told no lies.
Forewarned is forearmed.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
What is done cannot be undone.
Rule 20: Writers Should Never Invent New Words
Coinage, neologisms, portmanteaus … Did you know that some of our most common words — more than 1700 — were invented by William Shakespeare? He combined words, affixed prefixes or suffixes, verbed nouns, and adjectived verbs.
Here are just a few of his creations.
A to D
academe, addiction, amazement, arouse, bandit, bedroom, besmirch, bet, birthplace, blanket, bloodstained, blushing, bump, buzzer, cater, champion, circumstantial, cold-blooded, compromise, countless, courtship, critic, dauntless, dawn, discontent, dishearten, drugged, dwindle
D to L
epileptic, equivocal, excitement, exposure, fashionable, fixture, flawed, generous, gloomy, gnarled, gossip, grovel, gust, hint, hobnob, impartial, impede, invulnerable, jaded, label, lackluster, laughable, lonely, lower, luggage, lustrous
M to Z
madcap, majestic, marketable, mimic, monumental, moonbeam, mountaineer, negotiate, noiseless, obscene, ode, outbreak, pedant, radiance, rant, remorseless, savagery, scuffle, secure, skim milk, submerge, summit, swagger, torture, tranquil, worthless, zany
I definitesolutely (a word I made up a couple of years ago) believe that when the need presents itself, writers should throw away their straightjackets and create easy-to-understand words that resonate with readers.
As Shakespeare said, “Suit the action to the word, the word to the action.”
Rule 21: Always Write in a Specific Genre
This advice was probably conceived by well-meaning individuals who wanted to emphasize that it’s easier to make money from writing if you can pigeonhole it.
If that’s true, how can we justify the following genre combos?
- action comedy
- comedy-drama
- comedy-horror
- comic fantasy
- comic science fiction
- crime fantasy
- dark fantasy
- docufiction
- ethnofiction
- romantic comedy
- romantic fantasy
- science fantasy
- supernatural drama
- tragicomedy
What about Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith? A glance at the tile reveals it’s a combination of fantasy, historical fiction, and horror. Ditto for another one of his books, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Other genres are also attributed to these novels.
Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander novels combine elements of fantasy, science fiction, romance, and historical fiction. That’s four genres. Diana refuses to be bound by genre shackles.
A final example: George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) series. His books bridge the fantasy-adventure fiction and war & military action fiction genres. If you’ve read the novels, you might even want to classify them as epic fantasy/adult fantasy. One reviewer from Rolling Stone called them realpolitik fantasy.
Consider this statement by Carlos Fuentes: “Don’t classify me, read me. I’m a writer, not a genre.”
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
Rule 22: Never Use Unattributed Dialogue
Consider the following snippet from “Three Wishes,” a short story in Suppose: Drabbles, Flash Fiction, and Short Stories.
He tried to ignore the overheard whispers.
“Poor girl. Such a tragedy.”
“Her parents blame Charley.”
“He didn’t deserve her.”
“I can’t believe she’s gone. She was so young and vibrant.”
“I feel sorry for her mom and dad. Look at them.”
“I heard she was pregnant.”
All Charley could think about was how he had screwed up.
Can Charley distinguish the speakers? If he can’t, do readers need to know their identities?
Consider a jury in deliberation:
“The judge said that —” “Never you mind the friggin’ judge, she’s just a girl.” “But the defendant said he wasn’t there, and his alibi checks out.” “You really believe his WIFE? Screw ’im, he’s a no-gooder.” “A what?” “Cut it out. We’re supposed to be reviewing the evidence.”
And so it continued, for seventeen interminable days.
The focal point here is the arguing, not the jurors’ identities. Some writers prefer to individualize short bursts of speech in a paragraph like this by alternating Roman font and italics:
“The judge said that —” “Never you mind the friggin’ judge, she’s just a girl.” “But the defendant said he wasn’t there, and his alibi checks out.” “You really believe his WIFE? Screw ’im, he’s a no-gooder.” “A what?” “Cut it out. We’re supposed to be reviewing the evidence.”
For better readability, they might separate the bursts with ellipses:
“The judge said that —” … “Never you mind the friggin’ judge, she’s just a girl.” … “But the defendant said he wasn’t there, and his alibi checks out.” … “You really believe his WIFE? Screw ’im, he’s a no-gooder.” … “A what?” … “Cut it out. We’re supposed to be reviewing the evidence.”
An instance where Rule 22 would be useful is back-and-forth dialogue. It’s generally a good idea to avoid more than three lines of speech without attribution. Put your WIP away for several days, and then read it out loud. If you can’t figure out who the speakers are, how can you expect your readers to do so?
I’ll leave you with a dialogue-only flash fiction, “Once-in-a-Lifetime Offer,” from Nag Nag Nag: Megan and Emmett Volume I. Does this piece need dialogue tags or action beats?
Once-in-a-Lifetime Offer
“Good evening, ma’am. Is this Megan Walpole?”
“Yes …?”
“How are you today?”
“Well, now that you ask, I stubbed my big toe on the bottom step this morning, and I’m having a flare-up of my arthritis. My back isn’t so great, either. Nice of you to ask.”
“The reason I called is because your name was drawn from a random pool, and you’re the winner of an all-expense paid trip to Hawaii.”
“Well you can just tie a rock to my name and throw it right back into that random pool where you found it. Why do you guys always call while I’m in the middle of making supper?”
“May I call you Megan?”
“Young man, you can call me Al; you can call me gorgeous; you can even call me late for supper. Just don’t call me back.”
*
“Good evening again, ma’am. Um … Oh yeah … Here we go … Ahem. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Let me explain what I can do for you.”
“First time, isn’t it? Do you think you have a kinky old lady here? Well, the kinky part is right. Let me explain what I can do for you. Never mind. Five minutes with me and you’d have a heart attack.”
“Uh …”
“Ta-ta.”
*
“Ma’am, I, uh … I want to tell you about a special promotion Caliber Roofing and Siding has in your area. When you hire us to install our premium-quality aluminum siding on your home and allow us to display our sign on your lawn, you’ll receive 10 percent off our professional installation AND that free trip to Hawaii. It’ll just take a few minutes of your time.”
“Whoa! Catch your breath and take as long as you want, sweetie. Give me all the details. I like it slow. Supper’s in the oven now, and I have lots of time.”
*
“Hey, Emmett. Come here a minute. I just put this telemarketer on mute while he goes through his spiel.”
“You going to talk sexy and ask him what he’s wearing like you did with the last poor schmuck?”
“Nope. I’ve got something even better in mind. Listen and learn. Ready?”
“… and then we —”
“Hold on. Before you go any further, I should tell you I live in a brick house. You’d have a tough time installing aluminum siding on that.”
“Uh …”
“But you just go right on talking. You’ve got a nice voice, and I haven’t had anyone to chat with for over six days.”
“Six days? Oh I’m —”
“Yup. Ever since I chopped up my husband with an ax. He kept on yabbering when I was trying to make supper. His body is in the garage freezer along with all his stinky fish bait. Do you think your guys could dispose of his corpse for me? Then they could install siding on the garage. It’s not made of brick. I’ll pay good. Once-in-a-lifetime offer. My husband had a generous life insurance policy.”
“Uh …”
“Young man? Young man? … Guess he hung up.”
“Heh heh. Flattened by the Megan train. Almost feel sorry for the kid. How about comin’ down the hall and showin’ me some of that kinky stuff?”
See also The Master List of So-called “Rules” for Writers.
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
Discover more from KathySteinemann.com: Free Resources for Writers
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Thank you. What a lovely validation of the passive voice. What bugs me is when someone from my critique group writes a huge red “PASSIVE” next to something in a progressive (continuing action) tense. They don’t know what passive voice is, much less why/when one should/shouldn’t use it.
Ha ha. Thanks for your example, Marilyn!
Critique groups often confuse or exasperate writers more than they help. Now the question is: should you trust any further critiques from that person? 😉
I deliberately use sentence fragments on occasion. For dramatic effect, usually, or sometimes in dialogue. I’ve been oicked up on that on occasion by critiquers.
I agree that before you break the rules you need to know and understand them. Then you can defend your breaking of them. And also, it usually means you’ve thought about it.
Yes, Vivienne, I agree. Too many people pooh-pooh the rules without understanding them and why they might be important. Great to hear from you again!
Kathy—What a fab post cutting through the conventional dogma! Thanks. Here’s an example of another brilliant use of the passive tense—it’s the 1st line in Charles McCarry’s classic spy thriller, The Tears Of Autumn.
“Paul Christopher had been loved by two women who could not understand why he had stopped writing poetry.”
Anyone not gonna read the 2nd sentence? Really?
What an excellent example, Ruth. I’ve just added his book to my wish list. Thanks for the heads-up!
Hi Kathy! Thanks for the big laughs and a great post. I love this–goes back to learning the rules and trusting ourselves, not some outside source telling us what we should do. I really appreciate your blog!
Thanks, Tracy! You made an important point: We have to learn the rules before we break them.
I do agree. The question of poetic licence is not a matter for a body of critics to decide it all lies in the pen in the hands of the creative writer. He expresses himself how he deems fit. In his voice he is sure to put across the message.As long as the words invented are in the intended context he would communicate effectively.
Excellent perspective, Efosa. Thanks for stopping by.