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What Are Redundancies?
These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.
About The Quiz
This quiz, the sixteenth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.
They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.
The Answers Are in the Definitions
In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with each edit.
And maybe your muse will find story ideas among the changes and suggestions.
Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?
- Several local residents witnessed what looked like an astronaut hitchhiking a ride.
- The events were interdependent on each other.
- The advertising campaign introduced a new product every second week.
- What a coincidence! The ISBN number of her book contained her birthdate.
- The political parties joined together in common accord and passed the legislation.
- Although the project was a joint collaboration, the boss took sole credit for it.
- The knight kneeled down before the damsel and promised to protect her until the end of time.
- Most knowledgeable experts claim that COVID-19 will remain a part of our lives for many years to come.
- The LCD display flashed a yellow warning that turned red within seconds.
- She lifted up the little baby and held it high above her head, refusing to relinquish it to the woman with the gun.
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
Suggested Edits
Edit #1: Several local residents witnessed what looked like an astronaut hitchhiking a ride.
residents: locals; inhabitants
hitchhike: travel by soliciting free rides in passing vehicles
“Hitchin’ a Ride” wouldn’t be the same song without the redundancy, but as writers, we should be aware of what we put into words.
Alternate wording: Several residents [claimed, insisted, mentioned, reported, swore] they had seen what looked like an astronaut hitchhiking.
Edit #2: The events were interdependent on each other.
interdependent: dependent on each other
Alternate wording: The events were [interconnected, interrelated, interreliant, intertwined, interwoven].
Edit #3: The advertising campaign introduced a new product every second week.
introduce: launch or present a new product
Alternate wording: Every second week, the advertising campaign [announced, launched, presented, unveiled] another product.
Edit #4: What a coincidence! The ISBN number of her book contained her birthdate.
ISBN: International Standard Book Number
Alternate wording: What a [debacle, disaster, fiasco, fluke, mess]! The ISBN of her book contained [her bank account number, her mother’s date of birth, her phone number, her social security number].
Edit #5: The political parties joined together in common accord and passed the legislation.
join: connect or fasten together
in common accord: together, or at the same time
Some editors would recommend the removal of in common accord as well.
Alternate wording: The political parties [collaborated, cooperated, made a deal, negotiated, overcame their animosity, suppressed their partisanship] and passed the legislation.
Edit #6: Although the project was a joint collaboration, the boss took sole credit for it.
collaboration: the action of working jointly with others, especially in an effort to produce or create something
Your editor might also recommend deletion of for it.
Alternate wording: Although the project was a [combined, group, teamwork] effort, the boss took sole credit.
Edit #7: The knight kneeled down before the damsel and promised to protect her until the end of time.
kneel: go down into or stay in a position where one’s knees are on the ground, floor, etc.
Alternate wording: The knight [bowed to, knelt in front of, pledged his sword to, prostrated himself before] the damsel and promised to protect her [evermore, now and forever, until all the stars were gone from the sky].
Edit #8: Most knowledgeable experts claim that COVID-19 will remain a part of our lives for many years to come.
expert: someone with comprehensive and authoritative knowledge
Some editors would suggest the removal of many too.
Alternate wording: Most [clinicians, researchers, scientists] [insist, maintain, state] that COVID-19 will remain a part of our lives for [a long time, decades].
Edit #9: The LCD display flashed a yellow warning that turned red within seconds.
LCD: liquid-crystal display
Many editors would prefer display to LCD.
Alternate wording: The [cellphone, computer display, control panel, security console, dashboard display, touchscreen] flashed a yellow [alarm, alert, caution, signal] that turned red within seconds.
Edit #10: She lifted up the little baby and held it high above her head, refusing to relinquish it to the woman with the gun.
lift: move or bring someone/something upward
baby: infant; little one
Given the weight of a baby and how far a person would be able to extend their arms, high could be scrapped as well.
Alternate wording: She lifted the [infant, newborn] and held it above her head, refusing to [entrust it, give it up, hand it over, surrender it] to the gun-toting [adoption attorney, intruder, kidnapper, prowler, stalker, trespasser].
Something to consider: Wouldn’t a character be more likely to clutch a baby close to their chest rather than raise it above their head?
How Did You Do?
Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
Discover more from KathySteinemann.com: Free Resources for Writers
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This is a very good and truly excellent article about the unnecessary and needless use of all those really sort of extra words we, nearly all, use and employ and really just stick into sentences so they’ll make us seem, appear, look as if we’re really, really intelligent and bright and very clever, so I’m absolutely over the moon, full of praise, an completely enthused by the way you’ve put all this amazing stuff od words and vocabulary all together here. Many, many, many thanks!
Oh, Stuart, you had me in stitches! Thanks for your over-the-top words. 😉
I couldn’t help myself!
Thanks for the article. I scored 5/10. I hope the articles and your emails develop me better
Thanks for reading it, Ugochukwu. Good luck with your writing, and stay safe!
With a pan galactic gargle blaster or two to calm the nerves.
I see you’re a fan of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Peter. 🙂
Don’t drink too many of those blasters. Gotta keep the mind sharp, right?
Stay safe!
That was good. I didn’t do as well as I’d hoped on the redundancy quiz.
Thanks for trying it, Jacqui.
I hope your fiction about prehistoric man is progressing at a good pace. Your books are on my wish list.
Stay safe!
Fun.
I would also cut “of her book” on #4. Surely the story has introduced the book by this point, and maybe even described ISBN, since not telling what abbreviations mean is rude.
Thanks for the exercise! I love to write tight. 😉
That might work, Katharine, depending on context. Perhaps her book’s ISBN would read better.
Thanks for taking the quiz, and stay safe!
I meant to inlude Edit #4 with my comment on Edit# 9.
Heh heh heh. High five (gloved, of course).
Edit #9 – A clear case of Redundant Acronym Syndrome (RAS syndrome)
Sure is, Peter. 😉
Keep warm and safe!
Hi Miss Kathy,
Your astronaut pic made me laugh. It reminded me of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. I think it would be more fun to catch a ride on a spaceship than in a car (unless it’s a red Lamborghini Murcielago Roadster).
Yikes! You got me again. I messed up on number 3 (still a bit confused), and 4 (didn’t know what ISBN stood for). Close call on number 9 until I remembered what LCD stands for.
Thanks for another cool quiz and the helpful edits.
It’s cold here. Brrr. Wrapped in a blanket, wearing wool gloves fist bumps.
Stay warm and be safe.
That astronaut pic is funny, right? I agree with you regarding catching a ride on a spaceship, but it’s not likely to happen in my lifetime.
Ahhhh, Lenny, #3 is all about the definition of introduce: launch or present a new product.
I’ll give you two gloved fist bumps and then hand you a cup of [insert favorite hot beverage].
You stay warm and be safe too!
Hot chocolate with marshmallows please. 🙂
You got it!
I didn’t do so well this time. I missed 3.
Thanks for giving it a go again, Vivienne. 😉
Stay safe!