Redundancy Quiz #13 for Writers: Can You Score 100%?

Redundancy Quiz #13

What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the thirteenth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are in the Definitions

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with the suggested edits.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

  1. At the present moment, all we have right now are conflicting eyewitness reports.
  2. The rising waters completely engulfed the small hamlet.
  3. The employees conferred together with the boss.
  4. She continually maintained vigilant caution for any anomalies in the statistics.
  5. They cooperated together in all aspects of the planning.
  6. Every week a new crisis situation beset the settlers, but they reacted with alacrity and enthusiasm.
  7. First of all, that’s not true, and second of all, I don’t care.
  8. As soon as you drive a new car off the lot, it depreciates in value.
  9. The new job offered several good benefits.
  10. The video feed showed a bald-headed intruder ransacking the living room.
Find thousands of writing tips and word lists in
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1:  At the present moment, all we have right now are conflicting eyewitness reports.

present: existing or in progress now

now: at the moment

at the moment: now

The deleted phrases share the same meaning, and since have is the present tense of the verb, these phrases are redundant.

present tense: a tense expressing activity or state of being that exists right now

Alternate wording: All we have are [contradictory, inconsistent, unreliable] eyewitness [accounts, statements].

Edit #2: The rising waters completely engulfed the small hamlet.

engulf: surround or cover completely

hamlet: a small village

Alternate wording: The rising waters [deluged, flooded, immersed, swallowed] the hamlet.

Edit #3: The employees conferred together with the boss.

confer: consult together

Alternate wording: The employees [debated negotiated, parleyed] with the boss.

Edit #4: She continually maintained vigilant caution for any anomalies in the statistics.

maintain: enable or cause a condition or state to continue

vigilant: cautious

As phrased, the sentence is awkward.

Alternate wording (1): She maintained vigilance for anomalies in the [data, figures, measurements, values].

Alternate wording (2): She continued her vigilance in order to [catch, detect, discover, identify, reveal] anomalies in the statistics.

Edit #5: They cooperated together in all aspects of the planning.

cooperate: work together

Alternate wording: They [collaborated, worked together] in all aspects of the [organizing, preparation].

Edit #6: Every week a new crisis situation beset the settlers, but they reacted with alacrity and enthusiasm.

crisis: a situation in which someone or something is beset by severe problems

alacrity: enthusiasm; prompt and cheerful readiness

The sentence could be changed to: Every week a new crisis beset the settlers, but they reacted with alacrity. However, enthusiasm is a more common and understandable word.

Alternate wording: Every week a new crisis [challenged, confronted] the settlers, but they [faced it, tackled it] with [ingenuity, innovation, resourcefulness].

Edit #7: First of all, that’s not true, and second of all, I don’t care.

If by removing words you produce a phrase that conveys the same meaning, common sense suggests that the words are unnecessary.

Alternate wording: That’s not true, and I don’t care.

The abruptness of the alternate wording produces a sentence that seems flippant, perhaps even angry.

Edit #8: As soon as you drive a new car off the lot, it depreciates in value.

depreciate: decrease in value

Alternate wording: As soon as you drive a new car off the lot, it depreciates more than 10%.

Edit #9: The new job offered several good benefits.

benefit: something that is good or advantageous

Alternate wording: The new job offered [list of most important benefits].

Edit #10: The video feed showed a bald-headed intruder ransacking the living room.

bald: with little or no hair on the head or scalp

Alternate wording: The [CCTV feed, video surveillance] showed a bald intruder [pillaging, robbing, vandalizing] the living room.

How Did You Do?

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers

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The Writer’s Lexicon series
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8 thoughts on “Redundancy Quiz #13 for Writers: Can You Score 100%?

  1. I could not figure out the problem with #8. But, of course, “depreciate” means lose value. Duh! Also struggled with #10, but I figured it had something to do with the intruder. I felt that the original version of #7 sounded like a typical argument. I could see someone pointing a finger in someone else’s face as they number what they’re mad about. We repeat a lot when we speak, don’t we?

    Anyway, good set of examples — again! Thanks

    • The phrases we use in speech sound natural in written dialogue. However, it’s advantageous to know what we can cut, especially when word count is an issue.

      Confession time: I’m guilty of occasional redundancies in my writing, but I try to keep them under control. 😉

      I’m glad you tried the quiz, Holly.

      Please stay safe over the holidays and beyond!

  2. Hi Miss Kathy,

    Yikes, you messed with my brain again. Ack!

    In number 6 I didn’t know what “alacrity” meant so I’m glad you added a definition in the edits. Yea, a new word for my vocabulary.

    You got me on number 10. “Bald-headed” seemed correct until I read your edit.

    I’m looking forward to Christmas with alacrity. Geez, that sounds so not me. Lol.

    Wishing you happy holidays and a fantastic new year. 🙂

    Keep on staying safe.

    Elbow bump.

    Lenny

    • Heh heh. Just goes to show it’s a good idea to avoid unfamiliar words in writing, and I say that with much alacrity. 😉

      “Bald-headed” is a common redundancy — although I’ve never heard of a bald-headed eagle. Hmm. Maybe it’s because “bald eagle” is the name of a species?

      Please enjoy your holiday season, Lenny, and here’s hoping for a productive 2022 that quashes the pandemic, reduces pollution, and eliminates the antagonism seizing the world.

      Big smile and reciprocal elbow bump.

      Kathy

  3. I missed ‘small’ in the second one, ‘in value’ in number 8, and ‘bald-headed’ in the last one.
    Once pointed out, it’s obvious!
    One thing that puzzles me, referring to 7, is why many people insist on turning ordinal numbers into an adverbs and say ‘Firstly, it’s not true and secondly…’.

    • 🙂 It’s astounding how many words we add in dialogue, right?

      I agree with you regarding “firstly” and “secondly,” Vivienne. Those quirks in speech make characters identifiable in fiction, though.

      Best wishes for a great December and an even better January!

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