Redundancy Quiz #12 for Writers: Can You Score 100%?

Posted on by
Redundancy Quiz #12

What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the twelfth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

The Answers Are in the Definitions

In most cases, you should recognize the superfluous words when you scrutinize the definitions provided with the suggested edits.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

  1. An anonymous stranger threw a brick through the window of the restaurant.
  2. Every year in Paris, they commemorated the annual anniversary of their first introduction.
  3. After ascending up the flight of stairs to the golden throne, she curtsied.
  4. The orthopedist ordered the rapidly growing teenager a new artificial prosthesis.
  5. He commuted back and forth between work and his summer cottage.
  6. The scream was brief in duration but filled everyone with dread — was the killer about to strike once again?
  7. The model airplane was constructed of balsa wood and plastic.
  8. The doctor was absolutely certain she had never seen the patient before.
  9. He carefully scrutinized the financial report before completing his final budget.
  10. She punched his jaw with a quick jab of her closed fist.
Find thousands of writing tips and word lists in
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
–

Suggested Edits

Edit #1: An anonymous stranger threw a brick through the window of the restaurant.

anonymous: unknown, nameless

stranger: an unknown or anonymous person

Alternate wording: A [hoodlum, hooligan, looter, rioter] [hurled, lobbed, pitched, tossed] a brick through the window of the restaurant.

Edit #2: Every year in Paris, they commemorated the annual anniversary of their first introduction.

annual: occurring every year

introduction: the first occurrence or availability of something

Alternate wording: Every year in Paris, they celebrated the anniversary of [their (first) meeting, when they (first) met].

Edit #3: After ascending up the flight of stairs to the golden throne, she curtsied.

ascend: go up; climb

flight: a series of stairs between floors or levels

Alternate wording: After [climbing, mounting] the stairs to the golden throne, she curtsied.

Edit #4: The orthopedist ordered the rapidly growing teenager a new artificial prosthesis.

prosthesis: an artificial device that replaces or augments a missing or damaged limb or organ

Alternate wording: The orthopedist [prescribed, recommended, suggested] a new prosthesis for the [burgeoning, mushrooming] teenager.

Edit #5: He commuted back and forth between work and his summer cottage.

commute: go back and forth

Alternate wording: He [drove, took the bus, took the train] (back and forth) between work and his summer cottage.

Edit #6: The scream was brief in duration but filled everyone with dread — was the killer about to strike once again?

brief: of short duration

again: once more

Alternate wording: The scream was [fleeting, short] but terrified everyone — was the serial slayer about to kill again?

Edit #7: The model airplane was constructed of balsa wood and plastic.

balsa: a lightweight wood used mainly for creating model airplanes and rafts

Alternate wording: The model airplane was [constructed with, made of] balsa and plastic.

Edit #8: The doctor was absolutely certain she had never seen the patient before.

absolutely: certainly

certain: absolute

Alternate wording: The doctor was [positive, sure] she had never seen the patient before.

Edit #9: He carefully scrutinized the financial report before completing his final budget.

scrutinize: examine carefully

complete: finalize

Alternate wording: He [analyzed, dissected, pored over] the financial report before completing his budget.

Edit #10: She punched his jaw with a quick jab of her closed fist.

jab: a quick, sharp blow

fist: a closed hand with the fingers doubled into the palm

punch: strike with one’s fist

Alternate wording: She [jabbed, punched, whacked] his jaw with her fist.

Is there any need to mention the fist? In a fight scene, this might function better: She punched his jaw. Fewer words accelerate action.

How Did You Do?

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers

Find thousands of writing tips and word lists in
The Writer’s Lexicon series
and additional resources on my Facebook page.
–

Discover more from KathySteinemann.com: Free Resources for Writers

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

16 thoughts on “Redundancy Quiz #12 for Writers: Can You Score 100%?”

  1. Couple of minor quibbles:
    [7] Balsa Wood- the wood is ONLY redundant is you assume the reader knows that balsa is a type of wood. Cultural knowledge is based on assumption and I remember a former art history teach telling the class about a Indian [Hindu] student from a previous class who wanted to know why all the pictures of saints had soup plates behind their heads…

    [10] “She punched his jaw with a quick jab of her closed fist.”

    Technically, a jab is performed with a closed fist, thus:
    ‘She punched his jaw with a quick jab’ – would be more correct.

    • [7] If you’re writing for an audience that doesn’t understand that cedar, oak, spruce, and balsa aren’t woods, I guess you could say “balsa wood.” However, I doubt you’d ever say “cedar wood,” “oak wood,” or “spruce wood.”

      [10] That would work.

      Thanks for stopping by, John, and stay safe!

      • Re Balsa Wood:

        You often see modelling kits referred to as Balsa Wood, not just Balsa [obviously not all, but enough for it to be a common locution]. I’m thinking , maybe, it’s a usage thing, for example, look at North American locution around tuna: routinely, it is referred to as ‘tuna fish’ (I’m pretty certain if they just said ‘Tuna’ no one would think that they meant someone coming to fix the piano 🙂 )
        Also note – I’ve never seen any other type of marine beastie suffixed with ‘fish’.

        I guess it is possible that here, in New Zealand, that our ‘Balsa Wood’ is North American’s ‘Tuna Fish’.

        Cool beans.

  2. I think edit 10 would more likely be: ‘She punched him hard on the jaw, breaking all the fingers on her right hand.’

  3. Hi Miss Kathy,

    One of these days I’m going to get all of them right but today’s not the day. Ack! I struggled with “artificial prosthesis” but after some thought got it. Had a complete failure with “balsa wood.” Ugh!

    I’m glad you do edits. They’re so helpful.

    Thanks for another brain challenge.

    Keep on staying safe.

    Sanitized fist bump.

    Lenny

    • Heh heh. I’m glad they’re not all easy. 😉

      Re “balsa wood”: You wouldn’t say “cedar wood” or “oak wood.” That makes it easier to remember the redundancy.

      Thanks for stopping by again, Lenny. Stay safe, and here’s a reciprocal sanitized fist bump.

      Kathy

  4. I did great … until “balsa wood”. Guess we say the whole phrase most of the time? Also missed “flight of stairs” and “final budget”.

    This practice is helping me spot repetitive, but much loved, extra words in my writing. Plus, I love word games. Thanks!

  5. With 5 out of 10 I scored 100%
    What I missed?
    2. The ‘first’ introduction.
    Though people sometimes wish they could have a second chance, it’s a one-time experience.
    3. I’d cut off stairs as well.
    6. I missed ‘in duration, did cut away ‘once’
    And in the final sentence I missed the ‘enclosed’ first, but doubt if that’s a bad thing. I don’t fight often, but seeing a fist, looks like trouble.

    Time to split,
    Bye bye

    • You’re right, Marian — a fist usually means some kind of trouble. 😉

      No fists here, though. Maybe a sanitized fist bump.

      Thanks for your comments, and take care!

    • I’m with you on the off days. Hey, is that an oxymoron?

      Thanks, James. Here’s hoping for more on than off with your writing. 🙂

Comments are closed.