What Are Redundancies?

These nuisances are superfluous words or phrases also known as pleonasms. Rather than augment writing, they slow action scenes and increase word count — without adding constructive details.

About The Quiz

This quiz, the eighth in its series, offers ten sentences containing redundancies, and ten suggested solutions.

They are edited examples from books, news media, television shows, and overheard conversations.

Can You Find Every Redundant Word or Phrase?

1. The scientists knew that the procedure might possibly fail.
2. The doctor postponed the planned surgery until later.
3. There was a sort of yellow streak running down the dog’s back.
4. He repeated his warning again.
5. The beast regressed back to its savage roots.
6. The photos showed the same identical clothes on all eight corpses.
7. Ever since the time when Ward was born, he had never experienced such bliss.
8. She spelled out her orders in specific detail.
9. A bruise still remained where he had been hit by the rubber bullet.
10. The vehicle suddenly exploded into pieces.

Suggested Edits

Edit #1: The scientists knew that the procedure might possibly fail.

might: modal verb used to express possibility or suggest that something is true but not likely

The sentence could also be written as:

The scientists knew that the procedure could fail.

Could is another modal verb that indicates possibility, leaving the option of impossibility open.

Consider this revision:

The procedure might fail.

Is there any need to distance readers with the scientists knew?

Some writers, having received advice that they should remove that as often as possible, might rewrite the original sentence this way:

The scientists knew the procedure would fail.

The rewrite could create confusion.

One of the definitions of know is understand. Without that in the sentence, readers might for a microsecond think the scientists understood the procedure, not its possibility of failure.

Edit #2: The doctor postponed the planned surgery until later.

postpone: to arrange or cause something to occur at a time later than initially planned

Since the definition of postpone contains both planned and later, the deletions are extraneous words.

Edit #3: There was a sort of yellow streak running down the dog’s back.

sort of: somewhat; to a moderate degree

Did the writer intend for sort of to indicate a somewhat yellow streak? A streak that was a moderate degree of yellow? A streak that looked yellow but might have been another color? The phrase is ambiguous.

Alternate wording:

There was a [dark/light/muddy-] yellow streak running down the dog’s back.

Switching to active voice produces an even better sentence:

A [dark/light/muddy-] yellow streak ran down the dog’s back.

Edit #4: He repeated his warning again.

repeat: say again; do again; show again

Each definition already encompasses again.

Edit #5: The beast regressed back to its savage roots.

regress: go back; move back; fall back

As in the previous edit, each definition includes back; therefore, back is unnecessary.

Edit #6: The photos showed the same identical clothes on all eight corpses.

identical: the same; one and the same

We don’t need the deleted phrase.

Another edit, changing the order of details, yields a more engaging sentence:

The photos showed eight corpses clad in identical clothing.

Edit #7: Ever since the time when Ward was born, he had never experienced such bliss.

since: from the time when; ever since

Could you reword like one of the next two sentences? If so, the deleted phrase is redundant.

From the time when Ward was born, he had never experienced such bliss.

Ever since Ward was born, he had never experienced such bliss.

Now consider this definition:

when: at or during the time that

Do you see the reason for the next strikeout?

From the time when Ward was born, he had never experienced such bliss.

Alternate wording:

Ward had never experienced such bliss.

Never encompasses every moment of Ward’s existence, and the terseness of the edited sentence saves several words.

Edit #8: She spelled out her orders in specific details.

spell out: explain something in detail

details: specifics

In view of the preceding definitions, the original sentence could be reworded something like:

She explained her orders in detailed specific specifics.

Awkward.

Consider alternatives like these:

She [clarified, explained, expounded, itemized] her orders.

Edit #9: A bruise still remained where he had been hit by the rubber bullet.

still: up to and including the present time

If something remains, it exists up to and including the present time. Otherwise, it wouldn’t exist at all.

Shorter and more active wording:

A bruise remained where the rubber bullet had hit him.

Edit #10: The vehicle suddenly exploded into pieces.

explode: shatter suddenly as a result of rapid combustion

shatter: break suddenly and violently into pieces

suddenly: rapidly and unexpectedly

Given the definitions, we could revise the sentence:

The vehicle rapidly and unexpectedly suddenly broke suddenly and violently into pieces.

Ugh.

Cutting the redundant words speeds the narrative — suitable for an event such as an explosion.

Alternatives:

The [ATV, delivery truck, Ferrari, sedan, semi, taxi, van] [blew up, detonated, erupted].

How Did You Do?

Master List of Redundancy Quizzes for Writers