Embarrassment Is an Inescapable Part of Life

“I think it’s the human condition to be frequently embarrassed by your parents.” ~ Ivanka Trump

“I’m embarrassed every time I look a teacher in the eye, because we ask them to do so much for so little.” ~ Phil McGraw

“I’m a very bad speller, and I was embarrassed by that. When I would type, the little mistakes would make me nutty, and I would never edit anything.” ~ Penn Jillette

“I feel embarrassed by the flowery, theatrical stuff that goes with being an actor.” ~ Anthony Hopkins

“It embarrassed me to be classified as a humanitarian. I simply take part in activities that I believe in.” ~ Gregory Peck

What About the Rest of the World?

Someone might be embarrassed by a teasing remark, a bad book review, a dandelion-filled lawn, or multiple vehicles parked in the driveway during a family reunion.

People in a story might hate situations that don’t bother you or me. This post provides the tools to embarrass characters as often as you wish without overusing embarrass in its many forms.

Emotion Beats and Physical Manifestations

People show their embarrassment in numerous ways. Some are visible, and others aren’t. Everyone will notice a person’s nervous giggling, but only the character of focus will be aware of heart palpitations or nausea. Ensure consistent point of view if you use any of the following beats in your writing.

Usually invisible to others (or difficult to notice)
hot face and chest
heart palpitations
racing pulse
dizziness or lightheadedness
nausea
trouble catching one’s breath
tense muscles
inability to think clearly
avoiding contact with others
blinking back tears
Fake or tense smile

Obvious to others
averting one’s eyes
inability to maintain eye contact
turning one’s head
hanging one’s head
changing the topic of conversation
scratching the side of one’s neck
shaky voice
vomiting
nervous giggling
picking at skin or a personal object
pinching one’s lips into a firm line
playing with one’s hair or collar
shifting weight from one foot to the other
squinching one’s eyes closed
wiping one’s brow with a tissue
scrunching one’s head into shoulders
gazing at the floor, ground, or one’s toes
hiding one’s face with one or both hands
clasping one’s hands in a white-knuckled grip

For more beats, consult a body language dictionary.

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Adjectives

Descriptors like the following tell about a character’s motivation. They save words — unlike showing, which may require multiple sentences or paragraphs. However, they often represent opinions, and they can muddle point of view. The POV character may feel disheartened. Other people in a scene will only spot obvious signs such as blushing, although they might not know the reason for the blush.

A to C
abashed, affronted, agitated, apologetic, appalled, ashamed, blushing, chagrined, compunctious, contrite, cowed, crestfallen, crushed

D
deflated, demeaned, diffident, discombobulated, discomfited, discomposed, disconcerted, discountenanced, disgraced, disheartened, disquieted, distressed

F to R
fazed, fidgety, flushing, flustered, hangdog, horrified, humbled, humiliated, ill-at-ease, insecure, mortified, nervous, nonplussed, perturbed, rattled, red-faced, reluctant, reserved, reticent, rueful, ruffled

S to W
self-conscious, self-deprecating, self-effacing, shamed, shamefaced, sheepish, shrinking, shy, sorry, timorous, unassuming, uncomfortable, unconfident, uneasy, unnerved, unsettled, wary

Similes and Metaphors

Well-constructed figures of speech trigger memorable images. If overdone, though, they shout purple prose and alienate readers. Leverage the following phrases to create unique and lasting impressions.

an internal furnace flushing one’s chest and cheeks

blushing like a Victorian bride on one’s wedding night

feeling like one is naked

feeling like one wants to turn invisible and sneak out of a room

giggling like a little kid caught playing a prank on someone

giggling like a neighbor trying to keep a secret

like appearing in public and realizing one isn’t wearing _____

like being caught with one’s pants down and no toilet tissue at hand

stammering like a kid trying to make a lame excuse about unfinished homework

stammering like a teenager asking someone for a date

stuttering like a bad recording

stuttering like a woodpecker rat-a-tatting on a tree

sweating like a burglar caught casing a [bank, house, liquor store]

unpredictable as one’s temper

wishing one were anywhere but _____

Colors

An embarrassed person usually blushes. Try one of these colors to describe that blush, i.e., Her face turned fiery red.

A to W
apple red, beet red, blaze red, crimson, fiery red, flame red, florid, fuchsia, lobster red, neon red, peach red, radish red, reddish, roseate, rosy, ruddy, scarlet, watermelon red, wine red

See 1000+ Ways to Describe Colors for more options.

Scents

Embarrassment doesn’t have a scent, but people who are embarrassed often perspire. Elevated temperatures amplify the scent of grooming products and other substances that contact a person’s body.

An embarrassed character might smell like, reek of, or be redolent with the scent of:

A to U
aftershave, BO, chest rub, cleaning products, deodorant, dirty laundry, flatulence, gasoline, grease, hospital disinfectant, liniment, perfume, perspiration, soap, sour milk (baby spit-up), sweat, sweaty socks, underarm funk, urine

Consider the environment of your characters and the objects they might encounter, and then create your own list of scents.

The Versatility of Verbs and Phrasal Verbs

The most common verbs that show embarrassment are blush and flush. However, embarrassment could also be shown by verbs such as the following. A character might:

A to T
apologize, fidget, overheat, perspire, pinken, redden, shrink, shy away from, stammer, stutter, sweat, tremble

Review also the Adjectives section for words that could be converted into transitive verbs.

For example:

abashed
An embarrassing situation could abash someone.

flustered
Or it might fluster them.

ruffled
It might even ruffle them.

Nouns

Too many occurrences of embarrassment in your WIP? Try replacing some instances with one of the following nouns.

A to U
abasement, awkwardness, bashfulness, chagrin, degradation, discomfiture, discomfort, discomposure, disgrace, dishonor, distress, edginess, humiliation, ignobility, ignominy, indignity, mortification, perturbation, self-consciousness, shame, sheepishness, shyness, unease, uneasiness

Props

Well-chosen props augment a story by sparking new twists or subplots. Do any of these ideas suit your WIP?

• bad breath
• burning [a hole in the sofa, one’s hand while trying to sneak a cookie from the oven, supper]
• burping or farting loudly during [a book club meeting, a church service, a citizenship ceremony, a first date, an opera performance]
• catching one’s parents/sibling/friend/neighbor doing the horizontal mambo
• character gossiping about someone and then realizing they’ve been overheard by that someone
• character receiving a marriage proposal just as they try to tell the other person they want to break up
• character removing shoes at airport security and realizing that not only do their feet stink, but they’re also wearing holey socks
• dandelion-infested lawn
• drinking too much
• falling up the stairs
• family altercations
• forgetting to remove one’s socks before [climbing into the shower, making love]
• getting a traffic ticket
• getting caught checking oneself out in a mirror or shop window
• getting caught dancing like _____ while one sings _____
• getting caught reading a racy novel by [Grandma, well-known erotica author, someone in one’s church]
• getting caught talking to one’s pet as though it’s a real person
• googling oneself and finding _____
• laughing when someone is injured
• multiple vehicles parked in one’s driveway during [a family reunion, a funeral, a statutory holiday]
• off-color remarks
• picking up the wrong kind of _____ at the _____ store
• public attention or adoration
• saying something that is inappropriate
• sending a risqué text to the wrong person
• showing up in _____ costume for a black-tie event
• showing up late for [a date, a doctor’s appointment, an important business meeting, one’s own wedding]
• teasing or taunting remarks
• telling a joke … and nobody laughs
• typos on social media, in emails and texts, or in books
• using the wrong eating utensils at a classy restaurant

Clichés and Idioms (1)

Platitudes and jargon might function for dialogue, but they can contribute to word overuse. Replace them if appropriate.

embarrassment of riches/choices: overabundance, oversupply, superfluity

financially embarrassed: bankrupt, broke, insolvent, penniless

too embarrassed for words: affronted, mortified, ruffled

Clichés and Idioms (2)

These phrases don’t contain any variations of embarrass, but they represent various levels of embarrassment, and they work well for dialogue or informal narrators.

hot under the collar

open mouth, insert foot

to have egg on one’s face

to lose face

to make one’s toes curl

wanting to be swallowed by the floor