What’s the Big Deal?

Charles Dickens, in the persona of Mr. Bumble, said that crying “opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper.” Emotion should play a significant role in prose and poetry. Crying provides an excellent opportunity for that.

However, cried can turn into a repetition that makes readers cry because they’re tired of seeing it.

Instead of Making Your Characters Cry, Show Their Emotions

A character might shed tears for many reasons:

A to S
anguish, anxiety, defeat, denial, depression, desperation, embarrassment, guilt, humiliation, irritation, loneliness, pain, panic, pride (in someone else), rage, regret, relief, sadness, shame, sympathy

Here are just a few of the ways you could show these emotions.

Anguish
Sweating
Trembling
Cords standing out on neck
Clenching one’s jaw or grinding one’s teeth

Anxiety
Fidgeting
Wringing one’s hands
Rapid, shallow breathing
Clenching one’s interwoven fingers

Defeat
Lack of eye contact
Slumped posture
Toneless dialogue
Trembling chin

Denial
Elevated eyebrows
Raised voice
Rapid speech
Wide eyes

Depression
Head in one’s hands
Hunched shoulders
Shuffling feet, hands in one’s pockets
Lowered head, with gaze on ground or one’s toes

Desperation
Biting one’s bottom lip
Darting gaze
Pacing
Tugging at one’s hair

Embarrassment
Coughing
Excessive swallowing
Tugging at one’s clothing
Wincing

Guilt
Cracking voice
Grimacing
Biting one’s lip
A quivering chin

Humiliation
Blushing
Bowing one’s head
Hiding one’s face
Hugging oneself

Irritation
Cursing
Stomping
Snorting or sneering
Ill-considered dialogue

Loneliness
Monotone voice
Talking to oneself
Watching sad movies or TV series
Excessive time on internet or playing video games

Pain
Flinching
Grimacing
Clutching the painful area
Writhing or bending over

Panic
Incoherence
Rasping breaths
Squeezing one’s eyes shut
Flinching at unexpected sounds

Pride (in someone else)
Elevated chin
Gleam in one’s eyes
Pointing at the object of one’s pride
Discussing the accomplishment with someone

Rage
Crossed-arm stance
Flared nostrils
Puckered forehead
Physical or verbal attacks

Regret
Downturned lips
Frail voice
Attempting to explain or apologize
Trying to right the wrong that caused the regret

Relief
Hesitant laughter
Huge exhalation
Relaxing one’s posture, especially the shoulders
Gazing up and pressing one’s palms together in a praying gesture

Sadness
Puffy face or eyes
Runny makeup
Snot on upper lip or mustache
Swiping at one’s nose with tissue

Shame
Flushed cheeks
Moaning
Vibrating chin
Poor personal grooming

Sympathy
At a loss for words
Sad smile
Verbal offer of assistance
Murmuring optimistic platitudes in a soothing tone

For additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

If You Have Room, Try Showing Instead of Telling

With the suggestions in the previous section, we can eliminate cried in a few examples. Feel free to snag them as story prompts.

Jenna cried loudly.

Why?

Jenna’s chin vibrated. “I’m so sorry,” she said with a loud moan.

Having Jenna cry loudly tells us something but provides no visuals. The second sentence gives an instant mental image and lets us know, with both her words and her body language, that she’s crying to express shame.

When I telephoned David, he cried.

Why? If we want to maintain strict point of view, this scenario leaves no room for David’s body language — the narrator can’t see his reaction. However, the writer can relay any sounds David makes.

When I telephoned David, I heard nothing on the other end of the buzzing line. For a moment, I thought he had hung up on me. Then hesitant laughter rumbled above the static. “Thank God you’re safe,” he said.

Same situation. Added details and drama. Readers will know David is relieved.

Justin cried during the medal awards ceremony.

Was Justin crying tears of relief? Was he sad because he didn’t receive an award?

Justin’s six-year-old daughter marched onto the stage to receive her medal of bravery. He leaned toward the stranger sitting on his left. “Y’know, she just about lost her own life rescuing that little boy.”

With a few more details, we learn how Justin’s daughter earned her medal and that he’s proud of her.

The baby cried at the drop of a hat.

This sentence provides no reason for the crying, and at the drop of a hat is cliché. Can we provide a reason for the baby’s crying? Panic, perhaps, or pain?

Several times hourly, the baby screamed and beat at its tummy with its tiny fists.

Pain is the motivation.

What about panic?

Every time the phone rang or a door slammed, the baby flinched and wailed.

I took wailed from the word list below and combined it with body language to provide a more vivid description.

Animals Cry Too

We can compare cries to sounds such as yowling and mewling. These types of words function particularly well when the sounds match the descriptions of our characters.

A professor who has large owl-like eyes might hoot when she cries.

A donkey-faced construction worker might bray.

Bullies who pursue their prey like a pack of dogs might yelp when their victim turns on them to defend himself.

See also 300+ Onomatopoeic Sound Words for more ideas.

Exercises and Story Prompts

Try to eliminate cried from each of the following examples.

#1. Sushi cried and barked in the kitchen. Bob rolled over in bed to peer at the clock: 3:07 a.m.

“Three times in less than an hour,” he muttered as he threw on his robe and lumbered out of the bedroom. “For cryin’ out loud, what’s got into you, dog?”

A thunderous pounding on the back door vibrated the windows.

The hairs on the back of Bob’s neck bristled.

#2. Tammy cried and pushed Ansel away. “You don’t understand,” she said. “I want out. Now.”

He grabbed a pillow off the bed. “You want out?”

She staggered backward, her retreat thwarted by the wall.

Ansel stalked toward her, pillow clutched in his hammy fists.

#3. Heath Stoltz cried as his granddaughter Emily glided down the aisle toward her groom, Gardner Wheaton. Why hadn’t Heath told her the truth about Gardner? Would she have agreed to marry him if she had known?

Direct Replacements for Cried

A to D
agonized, anguished, bawled, bayed, beat one’s breast, bemoaned, bewailed, bleated, boo-hooed, blubbed, blubbered, broke down, burst into tears, caterwauled, despaired, dripped tears

G to R
grieved, grizzled, groaned, hooted, howled, keened, lamented, mewled, moaned, moped, mourned, nose bubbled, pined, puled, rained teardrops

S to U
screamed, shed tears, shrieked, shrilled, sniffled, sniveled, snuffled, sobbed, sorrowed, squalled, squealed, turned on the tears, ululated

W to Y
wailed, wauled, wawled, wept, whimpered, whined, whooped, wrawled, wauped, yawled, yawped, yelped, yipped, yowled