Are You Afraid of Losing Readers?

One shortcoming that might spur them to abandon your book is excessive repetition. This post presents alternatives for afraid.

Actions and Reactions of POV Characters Steer the Narrative

Your character of focus might exhibit fearful behaviors such as the following, which are invisible or inconspicuous to others.

• bad taste in the mouth
• blurred vision
• cold extremities
• compulsive swallowing
• confused thoughts
• depression
• distorted time perception
• dizziness
• dry mouth
• exhaustion
• faked bravado
• feigned exasperation or anger
• flashbacks
• flinching
• forced smile
• goosebumps
• hair on neck and arms bristling
• holding the breath
• hypersensitivity of all senses
• inability to speak
• insomnia
• muscle spasms
• nausea
• numb fingers
• pain in chest
• poor memory
• racing pulse
• rash decisions
• restless feet or legs
• shaking knees
• stifled scream
• substance abuse
• sudden cessation of movement
• sweaty palms
• taut shoulders
• thumping heart
• tight leg muscles caused by flight-or-fight response
• tinnitus
• weak or buckling knees

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Non-POV Characters Also Provide Fear Clues

Most of the following actions, obvious to everyone, allow a writer to weave a tale without worrying about head-hopping.

• adjusting clothing, distractedly or compulsively
• alienation from acquaintances and family
• angling feet away from object of fear
• audible exhalations
• biting on lip(s)
• blanching
• blocking body with hands or fists
• chewing on pen, pencil, fingernails, hair, or lips
• clenched fingers
• clenched mouth
• closed body position, with hands protecting groin
• clutching tightly at personal possessions
• constricted pupils
• covering face with hands, magazine, scarf, etc.
• cowering
• cringing
• crossing the arms
• curling into fetal position
• darting eyes
• distracted dialogue
• fast, shallow breathing
• fidgeting
• flared nostrils
• flushing
• furrowed brow
• gaping mouth
• gazing in all directions to search for danger
• glistening or damp eyes
• grabbing someone for protection or support
• gulping huge mouthfuls of air
• guzzling large quantities of water, beer, etc.
• hair-twirling
• heart attack
• heavy breathing
• hiding behind someone or something
• hugging oneself
• increasing personal space
• jerky movements
• jiggling change or keys in pocket
• licking the lips
• loss of bladder control
• minimal eye contact and staring elsewhere
• nail-biting
• pacing
• panic attack
• positioning an object in the path of danger
• protecting the back with a wall or barrier
• raising eyebrows and wrinkling brow
• rapid blinking
• recoiling
• repetitive behavior
• retreating in opposite direction of danger
• rubbing arms
• scratching
• screaming
• shaking or tapping feet or legs
• shrill voice
• sighing
• slouching or hunching
• squaring shoulders and assuming hostile stance
• squinting
• stepping backward
• stuttering
• sweating
• talking to oneself
• throat clearing
• tiptoeing
• trembling hands, lips, and chin
• tugging on an ear
• tugging on hair
• turning away
• visible pulse in neck
• vomiting
• whimpering or unrestrained weeping
• whispering
• white-knuckled grasp of objects
• wide eyes, which might elevate to staring
• wincing
• wringing hands

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Show or Tell?

If you rely on adjectives, you’ll probably be telling. Keep that in mind as you review the following lists.

You Could Describe Mild Fear With the Following Adjectives

A to U
agitated, apprehensive, bothered, cautious, concerned, disconcerted, disquieted, disturbed, doubtful, edgy, flustered, fretful, hesitant, ill-at-ease, jumpy, nervous, on edge, perturbed, rattled, tense, timid, timorous, troubled, uneasy, unsettled

Moderate Fear Requires Stronger Adjectives

A to W
alarmed, angst-ridden, anxious, daunted, demoralized, discomposed, dismayed, dispirited, distraught, distressed, frightened, in a tizzy, intimidated, muddled, ruffled, scared, shaken, spooked, unnerved, upset, vexed, worried

Extreme Fear Demands Extreme Adjectives

A to T
aghast, anguished, dazed, dumbfounded, freaked, horrified, horror-struck, hysterical, overwhelmed, panicked, paralyzed, petrified, scared stiff, shocked, sickened, staggered, stunned, stupefied, terrified, tormented, traumatized

Replacement Nouns for Fear Can Inspire Innovative Phrasing

Create expressions that rely on synonyms for fear. For example:

Fright fluttered in her chest.

Foreboding swelled in his gut.

Horror shot through him.

Caveat: Exercise caution to avoid purple prose.

Mark Twain and H. P. Lovecraft spoke of their characters being dazed with fright. Modern writers employ the phrase too, — as evidenced by more than 2000 Google results. Cliché? Maybe. Probably best to coin something more original.

Here are a few nouns to get you started. Select those matching the level of fear appropriate for your characters.

A to F
agitation, agony, alarm, anguish, angst, anxiety, apprehension, concern, devastation, dismay, disquiet, distress, dread, foreboding, fright

H to W
horror, panic, shock, stress, terror, torment, torture, trepidation, unease, uneasiness, worry

Leverage Fear by Introducing a Phobia

Adding hurdles for characters to overcome — or not overcome — provides opportunities for subplots. Mild symptoms can be exploited to add humor. An extreme phobia could motivate a character throughout an entire novel.

Consider adding tension or intrigue to your WIP with one of the following conditions.

acrophobia: fear of heights

This could involve pseudo-anxiety shown by a character not wanting to clean the eaves, or terror that prohibits someone from standing on a stepladder or using an escalator.

agoraphobia: fear of open spaces

Mild agoraphobia could plague a CEO who prefers to work in a cubicle rather than a spacious office. However, the phobia might be so extreme that a different character is afraid to leave home even to retrieve something from the doorstep. The person might ignore the doorbell or keep the curtains closed.

astraphobia: fear of thunder and lightning

Many pets share this fear, hiding or cowering during a storm. Does your protagonist miss an important meeting because he fears being struck by lightning? Or does he disconnect every electrical device in the house when he hears thunder? Maybe he hides under the bed with his cowering Rottweiler.

aviophobia: fear of flying

This could present as a mild aversion that causes a protagonist to joke about her condition, or it might elevate to a moderate fear including sweaty palms and nausea, to a phobia so extreme she will only travel via ground transportation.

claustrophobia: fear of enclosed spaces

A character might dread getting into an elevator, and she might make ill-conceived excuses or self-deprecating remarks while she heads toward the stairs: “You guys don’t want to ride the elevator with me. I ran out of deodorant this morning.” Perhaps she would avoid fetching something from the basement, or refuse to learn scuba diving.

cynophobia: fear of dogs

Your character might fear certain canine breeds, or all dogs. Behavior might include avoidance of specific yards in the neighborhood, refusal to work in an establishment with guard dogs, or heart palpitations when being inspected by sniffer dogs in the airport.

entomophobia or insectophobia: fear of insects

Similar phobias include apiphobia (fear of bees), arachnophobia (fear of spiders), and myrmecophobia (fear of ants). Some characters might flinch at the sight of an insect: “Mimi, get this thing out of the corner. Now.” Others might scream or vomit.

gargalaphobia: fear of being tickled

What would put a bigger damper on a romantic encounter than a woman whose gargalaphobia causes cringing rather than giggling when she is caressed, or who breaks her boyfriend’s jaw when he attempts to brush a stray wisp of hair from her forehead?

herpetophobia: fear of reptiles or amphibians

Your character might dread going outdoors in a rural district where frogs croak at night, or blanch when a server recommends the frog legs appetizer.

ophidiophobia: fear of snakes

“You want me to go to the zoo with you? Who do you think I am, Noah?” “Weed the garden? No way — there might be a garter snake hiding in the tomatoes.” “Watch a movie with you? Sure. … Snakes on a Plane? You gotta be kidding.”

phobophobia: fear of fear

Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” And he added, “unjustified terror … paralyzes needed efforts.” Imagine a protagonist who turns off the news on TV because he’s afraid he might experience a panic attack, and whose dread of night terrors prevents sleep.

social anxiety disorder: fear of social interactions

Mild cases might cause an avoidance of conversation. More pronounced reactions could include refusal to answer the telephone or avoidance of social media. An extreme phobia might cause a character to order takeout for delivery, to push cash under the door when the meal arrives, and then to collect the food from the hallway after the delivery person leaves.

trypanophobia: fear of injections

Have you ever seen a macho man pass out at the sight of a needle? This could develop into delightful humor, as long as it’s not overdone.