A single action can replace many words of description. We associate a scowl with displeasure, a stomping foot with anger, and tears with sadness.

But how often do your characters shake their heads, nod, or shrug while involved in conversation? Maybe they endlessly clear their throats, pout, or sigh. Action beats, like any literary device, distract readers if abused. Overreliance on them weakens writing.

Before Starting, We Need to Know the Definition of Action Beat

An action beat is the description of an action that a character makes while talking. It may replace, or appear along with, a dialogue tag.

For example:

“Go away,” Ted said. [dialogue tag]

“Go away.” Ted pointed at the door. [action beat]

Note the difference in punctuation. A comma follows away in the first instance, and a period follows away in the second.

Ted’s action augments the dialogue and provides a meaningful visual for readers. Some writers might prefer:

“Go away,” Ted said as he pointed at the door.

However, the action beat shows readers that Ted is talking. Why burden the writing with unnecessary words?

Let’s Examine an Excerpt From a Short Story

Brenda frowned and shook her head. “No way. You expect me to jump out of a perfectly good plane and depend on a flimsy piece of silk to keep me from splattering into the ground?”

Mike sighed. “I’ve done hundreds of jumps.” He cleared his throat. “Besides, parachutes are usually made out of nylon nowadays.”

“Yeah, nylon.” She nodded her head. “Nylon. Nylon! Have you ever seen a run in a nylon stocking?” She shrugged her shoulders. “Find yourself another sucker.” [81 words]

Note the strikethroughs. What else would Brenda nod besides her head? What else would she shrug besides her shoulders? Four superfluous words eliminated.

Although sucker is cliché, it makes the dialogue seem genuine. Your speakers should sound like real people.

Each paragraph includes multiple action beats, but do we require more than one? Once the speaker is known, a single well-chosen beat will show emotion without adding gratuitous padding.

Do we need an action beat in the third paragraph? This is an altercation that involves two characters. Readers will know who is speaking.

With the interruption of Brenda’s dialogue, the writer might not notice the repetition of nylon, but readers will.

Time for a Rewrite

Brenda frowned. “No way. You expect me to jump out of a perfectly good plane and depend on a flimsy piece of silk to keep me from splattering into the ground?”

Mike sighed. “I’ve done hundreds of jumps. Besides, parachutes are usually made out of nylon nowadays.”

“Yeah, nylon. Nylon! Have you ever seen a run in a nylon stocking? Find yourself another sucker.” [64 words]

Better.

However, if you scrutinize the rest of the story containing these paragraphs, you might discover ad nauseam recurrences of frowned and sighed, problem words for many writers.

How do you remedy the repetition?

Consider Motivation

Why does Brenda frown? Perhaps she’s agitated. A wavering voice or erratic movements would show that. Maybe she’s defiant. She might cock her head or fix Mike with a stony stare. Embarrassment might compel her to blush or sweat.

Why does Mike sigh? Exasperation might make him clench his fists, or point his finger at Brenda. Impatience could cause pinched lips, or oblige him to throw an object at the wall. Overconfidence might result in a bellowing voice or aggressive stance.

You control the narrative. If you don’t know why your protagonists are frowning or sighing, how can you expect your readers to?

Try the mirror approach: Determine motivation and stand in front of a mirror while you act out the triggering emotion. Where are your hands and feet? Are your brows arched or furrowed? Is your chin thrust forward or drawn toward your chest? Has your complexion changed color?

If you’re stuck for appropriate body language, search the internet for phrases such as body language agitation or body language exasperation.

Time for a Second Rewrite

Brenda’s face reddened. “No way. You expect me to jump out of a perfectly good plane and depend on a flimsy piece of silk to keep me from splattering into the ground?”

“I’ve done hundreds of jumps.” Mike tossed a pen at the wall. “Besides, parachutes are usually made out of nylon nowadays.”

“Yeah, nylon. Nylon! Have you ever seen a run in a nylon stocking? Find yourself another sucker.” [70 words]

The third version introduces tension. Readers will envision the red face and tossed pen, intuiting the emotions that precipitated them.

A Second Excerpt

“They won’t budge on the overtime clause.” Burt, the CEO’s executive assistant, grimaced and scratched his chin. “And they’ll strike if we don’t increase their health benefits.” He paced, one hand behind his back.

The CEO sighed and leaned forward in his chair. “Scum.” He dragged an expensive cigar from a desk drawer and peered at his Rolex. “Their demands will cost a fortune. They’ll force us into the poorhouse.”

Burt strolled across the plush carpet to the mini bar and poured himself a twenty-year-old Glenfiddich scotch whiskey. “If we lay off some of the work force, we could give them what they want.” He smacked his lips and gazed out the window. “And they might not be so willing to test our resolve next time the contract comes up for renewal.”

The CEO inspected his manicured nails and cleared his throat. “Do it.” [144 words]

The writer wants to communicate that the company has rich executives, but they’re not willing to share their good fortune with employees.

Let’s rewrite. First, we’ll strike out the unnecessary beats:

“They won’t budge on the overtime clause.” Burt, the CEO’s executive assistant, grimaced and scratched his chin. “And they’ll strike if we don’t increase their health benefits.” He paced, one hand behind his back.

The CEO sighed and leaned forward in his chair. “Scum.” He dragged an expensive cigar from a desk drawer and peered at his Rolex. “Their demands will cost a fortune. They’ll force us into the poorhouse.”

Burt strolled across the plush carpet to the mini bar and poured himself a twenty-year-old Glenfiddich scotch whiskey. “If we lay off some of the work force, we could give them what they want.” He smacked his lips and gazed out the window. “And they might not be so willing to test our resolve next time the contract comes up for renewal.”

The CEO inspected his manicured nails and cleared his throat. “Do it.”

With deletion of the indicated beats and a bit of reorganization, we can streamline the narrative:

Burt, the CEO’s executive assistant, paced across the plush carpet. “They won’t budge on the overtime clause. And they’ll strike if we don’t increase their health benefits.”

“Scum.” The CEO dragged an expensive cigar from a desk drawer and peered at his Rolex. “Their demands will cost a fortune. They’ll force us into the poorhouse.”

Burt strolled to the mini bar and poured himself a twenty-year-old Glenfiddich scotch whiskey. “If we lay off some of the work force, we could give them what they want. And they might not be so willing to test our resolve next time the contract comes up for renewal.”

The CEO inspected his manicured nails. “Do it.” [112 words]

Every action beat now adds to the scene.

Exploit Action Beats, and Your Writing Will Benefit

Try this:

1. Save your document.
2. Strike out unnecessary beats.
3. Resave the document (with a new name).
4. Reword as needed.

Ready for a Few Exercises?

Exercise 1

Burton shook his head and sighed. “Edwina will never believe me,” he said, “no matter how much I deny it.” He slumped in his chair.

Roland smiled, and his eyes twinkled. “But I have video evidence. Look here,” he answered as he pointed at the screen on his phone.

“Really?” Burton asked, peering over Roland’s shoulder.

“Yes.” Roland brought up a video of the cat eating Edwina’s prize carrot cake. “See? You’re in the clear, bud.”

Suggested solution

Burton slumped in his chair. “Edwina will never believe me, no matter how much I deny it.”

Roland’s eyes twinkled. “But I have video evidence. Look here.” He pointed at the screen on his phone.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Roland brought up a video of the cat eating Edwina’s prize carrot cake. “See? You’re in the clear, bud.”

Notes: All dialogue tags and extraneous action beats were removed. “Really?” was left without speaker identification, because it’s clear that Burton is talking.

Exercise 2

Reverend Phelps looked at the congregation as he adjusted his tie. “Good morning,” he said. “I’m glad to see so many bright faces.” He paused.

An elderly lady in the front row raised both hands into the air and said, “Amen.”

He shuffled his notes and cleared his throat. “Today I’d like to talk about the need to respect our bodies, the temples we have been granted during our short sojourn on Earth.” He pushed his glasses high onto the bridge of his nose.

A collective groan went through the crowd. Every sermon for three weeks had been about the perils of drugs and strong drink. Somewhere near the back of the church, a snore sounded.

The Reverend hit his fist on the pulpit and shouted, “Today’s sermon will be about the necessity of sufficient sleep every night.” He pursed his lips. “I must say I am disappointed at the number of my parishioners who snooze every Sunday during church.”

Suggested solution

Reverend Phelps scrutinized the congregation. “Good morning. I’m glad to see so many bright faces.”

An elderly lady in the front row raised both hands. “Amen.”

He shuffled his notes. “Today I’d like to talk about the need to respect our bodies, the temples we have been granted during our short sojourn on Earth.”

A collective groan rolled through the crowd. Every sermon for three weeks had been about the perils of drugs and strong drink. Somewhere near the back of the church, a snore rumbled.

The Reverend thumped his fist on the pulpit. “Today’s sermon will be about the necessity of sufficient sleep. I am disappointed at the number of my parishioners who snooze during church.”

Notes: All dialogue tags and extraneous action beats have been eliminated. There is no need to say that the old lady raised her hands into the air.

Every night, I must say, and every Sunday were removed to streamline the dialogue and make it more natural.

Several verbs were replaced by stronger equivalents:

looked at = scrutinized

went = rolled

sounded = rumbled

hit = thumped