Time for a Visit to the Word Doctor

Do you fall back on the heart pounded phrase whenever your characters are afraid or stressed? Guess what, dear writer. There’s a cure for that.

Ask Yourself Why?

Before considering alternatives, you need to know why your protagonist’s heart is pounding.

Here are just a few activities, emotions, and external factors that could make a person’s heart beat faster:

• physical exertion like climbing, running a marathon, or swimming several lengths of the pool
• dehydration
• stress or conflict
• phobias and fears, which might also escalate into a panic attack
• sexual desire, love
• annoyance with telemarketers, noisy dogs, door-to-door salespeople, or slow restaurant service
• anticipation before attempting something like public speaking or cliff jumping
• other strong emotions such as anger, anxiety, defeat, disappointment, enthusiasm, excitement, fear, nervousness, worry
• mitral valve disease, tachycardia, or heart attack
• many other medical conditions
• hormonal changes
• caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol
• medications such as decongestants, diet pills, and asthma inhalers
• some herbal preparations
• street drugs such as amphetamines and cocaine

If you need additional beats, consult a body language dictionary. (As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.)

Consider Other Possibilities

Once you’ve determined the reason for the pounding heart, investigate different ways of peeking behind the curtain. Although some of the following might be deemed cliché, evaluate emotion beats and physical manifestations you could substitute instead:

• racing pulse
• rising temperature
• light-headedness
• tingling skin
• breathlessness
• wheezing
• fainting
• flinching
• an unpleasant taste in the mouth
• dry mouth or tongue
• hyperventilation
• dizziness
• flushing face, neck, and upper torso
• shivering

Dialogue Can Treat the Heart Pounded Disease While Maintaining Point of View

Unless you’re an omniscient narrator, you can’t know what other people in your narrative are feeling.

You might notice Jordan’s wheezing or flushed face, but you would be unable to perceive an unpleasant taste in his mouth or his racing pulse. When Jordan experiences these physical signs, he might make a sour face and announce:

“That tastes horrible. Did you put MSG in it? My pulse is racing like a freight train.”

Yes, Joe used a cliché, but it’s all right. He’s speaking in character.

Cowboy Ken, our POV character, might declare his love for Susan something like this:

“Gosh darn it, Susie, can’t you tell how I feel about you? I’m all lathered up like an old stud horse chasin’ after a filly, and my heart’s poundin’ like a blacksmith’s hammer in my chest. C’mon, give me a chance. Please?”

Susan has a pounding heart too, but maybe you can introduce a hurdle:

Susan gazed at Ken from behind her fan. “You know I could never love you. You don’t have two cents to rub together in the pockets of those threadbare jeans, and I’m already promised to another.”

Her red cheeks and bright eyes reminded Ken of a mare in heat. Shucks. She was lying.

It’s up to readers to decide whether Ken has interpreted her feelings correctly. Of course you will provide clues or misdirection as appropriate, won’t you?

Now We Get to the List of Direct Replacements for Pounded

Note that some of these verbs are tells, which are appropriate when word count is limited. For instance, a groaning heart paints a different picture than a cartwheeling one. In each case, a single word describes how the protagonist is feeling.

A jackhammering heart could be the result of many emotions, which you can show elsewhere in your story or poem. Likewise with a rocketing or galloping heart. Consider the subtle nuances of each verb before choosing it.

Instead of Pounded, Try:

A to E
ached, banged, beat, bounced, bounded, bumped, capered, careened, careered, cartwheeled, convulsed, danced, drummed, exploded

F to H
faltered, fell, flailed, flapped, flip-flopped, flounced, fluttered, frolicked, froze, galloped, galumphed, gamboled, groaned, hammered, heaved, hopped

J to P
jackhammered, jerked, jigged, jogged, joggled, jounced, juddered, jumped, knocked, leaped/leapt, lurched, palpitated, plummeted, pranced, pulsated, pulsed, pumped

Q and R
quaked, quavered, quivered, raced, raged, reeled, reveled, rocketed, rollicked, romped

S
sighed, skipped, soared, somersaulted, sped, sprinted, stormed, strutted, swaggered

T to W
thrashed, throbbed, thudded, thumped, tossed, trembled, trotted, tumbled, vaulted, vibrated, writhed