6 Key Dos and Don’ts of Figurative Language

6 Do’s and Don’ts of Figurative Language

Great figurative language not only paints a vivid picture, but also evokes a sensory experience. In this post, Desiree Villena provides six excellent tips to help writers form evocative images for readers.

When we say a writer is using “figurative language,” all we mean is that they’re using words to convey a meaning beyond the literal one. Similes, metaphors, and personification are common ways to achieve this, but as readers everywhere know, these techniques can easily be overdone.

To strike the right balance, I’ve reached for two of my favorite authors, Madeline Miller and Leigh Bardugo, to provide some examples of commercial fiction getting it right. But don’t think figurative language is limited to novelists! When you’re looking for it, you’ll find figurative language hiding everywhere, from essays to poetry collections — it’s a literary device that writers of all stripes need to master.

1. Do use image-driven language.

Simple, direct language is often very effective (not to mention great if you’re trying to write faster), but sometimes ideas are too big or abstract to be described in a single direct sentence. In such instances, authors and poets use figurative language to go beyond the surface meaning of words and paint a picture in the reader’s mind. By putting a foreign concept into strong, familiar terms, you can help the reader grasp it more easily.

The best examples of figurative language are driven by imagery that’s vivid and visceral. In Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo uses this simile to describe a character who makes the protagonist feel nervous:

“He was too still, like a creature hunting, and she could sense the violence in him waiting.”

Rather than spend time describing his human mannerisms and hoping the reader draws the right conclusion, Bardugo uses the instantly conjurable image of the predator ready to pounce. This image imbues the quivering tension experienced by the protagonist with a visual hook, helping readers to imagine how it feels to be around this other character — an intangible concept that’s otherwise tricky to describe.

2. Do involve the senses.

Great figurative language not only paints a vivid picture, but also evokes a sensory experience: playing to the reader’s senses by providing tastes, smells, sounds, internal and external feelings, and even deep emotions.

In Madeline Miller’s Circe, the sensory details really bring the imagery to life. For example, Circe describes her father in the following terms:

“His flesh was hot as a brazier, and I pressed as close as he would let me, like a lizard to noonday rocks.”

If you’ve ever been out in the sun at noon, you’ll know that the rocks (or the sidewalks) are hot enough to fry your breakfast on. But there’s something about pressing yourself up against them that makes you feel content — especially if you’re a sun-worshipping lizard. So the reader not only feels the external warmth of Helios, god of the sun, but also the internal warmth that Circe feels for her father.

Involving the reader’s senses is a particularly potent way to bring a setting to life. If you’re describing the way an environment looks and feels, consider even using onomatopoeia to give another layer of immersion to your language with the sensory detail of sound. For example, if you wanted to place the reader in a sinister cemetery, you might say “the birds screeched” or “the bells clanged” to help your audience envision the noise of the scene in an atmospheric way.

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3. Do try to be original.

Using figurative language is a great way to express yourself more creatively as a writer, so why not be as original as possible? Though it’s easy to reach for the familiar, don’t go with the first metaphor or simile that springs to mind — that’s usually where clichés and overused comparisons are lurking.

Spend a bit of time thinking about the image(s) you’re trying to evoke for the reader, then brainstorm several ideas. I find that the more specific I am in my intentions, the further I am able to push a comparison, and the more powerful my ideas are.

In Circe, Madeline Miller uses figurative language to describe the constant need to sate Allecto’s fury. When Prometheus speaks to Circe before being whipped by the Fury, he says:

“It is time for you to go now. Allecto does not like to leave me for long. Her cruelty springs fast as weeds and must at any moment be cut again.”

Not only is this a colorful and imaginative way to express the idea of untameable cruelty, it’s also a cleverly ironic image, because it is Prometheus who will be cut — by Allecto’s whip. You can bet that Miller spent some time thinking about this one!

4. Don’t ask too much of the reader.

While strong metaphors, similes, and personification aren’t overly literal or obvious, they should draw a natural comparison. Many times, I’ve written what I believed to be a really original and creative metaphor, only to be told by a friend that they have no idea what I’m talking about or got totally lost halfway through.

Remember that that goal isn’t to sound like Shakespeare, but to provide the reader with an evocative image they can immediately understand and relate to. This is one of my favorite similes in Ninth House:

“The thought pulled her along like a child who had hold of her sleeve.”

The image is strikingly clear and instantly recognized. There’s no leap to be made to follow the logic of the comparison, but it’s original creative writing nevertheless.

5. Don’t use meaningless images.

Whether you’re writing a novel or submitting a poem to a high-brow literary journal, stuffing your text with figurative language runs the risk of confusing or distracting readers — so use it sparingly. Don’t choose the phrases and metaphors that sound the prettiest or most elaborate, but those that best serve the central themes and symbols in your story.

Equally, if you want to spice up your description of a character or setting, ask yourself which traits and features you’d like to highlight. Then compile a list of illustrative comparisons that could be used to emphasize the importance of that trait and decide which ones best complement the character or setting.

Let’s look again at Ninth House for an example. Here is how Bardugo describes the young women at Yale:

“‘Who are you?’ Alex would sometimes think, looking at another girl in a navy peacoat, pale face like a waning moon beneath a wool cap, ponytail lying like a dead animal over her shoulder. ‘Who are you?’”

The girls might also have long, skinny legs, knobbly knees, and eyes like muddy ponds, but the author uses similes to highlight the features that make them seem lifeless — their cold, moon-like faces and taxidermy-esque hair.

Like Bardugo, if your figurative language tells the reader something important about a character or setting or serves a central theme, use it. If it doesn’t, avoid it.

6. Don’t neglect to edit.

Because it’s good to push beyond the surface, I tend to overwrite once I’ve struck upon an image that asks to be explored. Usually, this means developing the concept over several lines or even paragraphs, revealing all its different facets and various ways of illustrating the comparison.

Of course, if you do this (and I think you should!) you’ll need to have your editing scissors handy. Even if you’re writing an extended metaphor, the analogy will have its limits — not to mention, you’ll still want to keep your prose concise and pithy.

Once you’ve generated the material, edit it down to its most evocative and effective parts, choosing the sections that fulfill the requirements in tips one to five, and editing out the rest. That way you’ll have prose that sings and keeps readers hooked.

© Desiree Villena

Desiree Villena is a writer with Reedsy, a marketplace that connects self-publishing authors with the world’s best editors, designers, and marketers. In her spare time, Desiree enjoys reading elaborate fantasy, writing short stories, and analyzing literature into the ground.


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9 thoughts on “6 Key Dos and Don’ts of Figurative Language

  1. Hi Miss Kathy and Miss Desiree,

    Thanks for a cool post. Great advice. For sure you’ve given me a lot to think about.

    I hope it works with humor. I need to ramp up some funny scenes in my ms.

    Stay safe.

    Hugs,

    Lenny

    • I love humor, Lenny, even in horror novels. Done well, it adds another dimension to a story.

      Thanks for stopping by again, and you stay safe as well. ♥

    • Hi Lenny, thank you so much! I find figurative language can be a great vehicle for humor — I didn’t use any humorous examples here, but there are plenty to be found in Leigh Bardugo’s books 🙂 Good luck with your own writing, I hope your manuscript is going well!

  2. Hi Kathy, Excellent post. I try hard not to furnish my writing with too many prosaic descriptions. Of course, it’s always a challenge, but well worth the effort. I am rarely completely satisfied with what I write, but then – if I don’t make more of an effort – who would want to read my lame prose?! Being ancient, I had a sad education in WW2, and ‘life’ then took over, so I didn`t take my A level Lit. exam until I was 66….I remain curious and realize that, however much we learn,. there is always more, which keeps this scribbler on the ball Many thanks. .

    • Hi Joy, thanks very much! It’s definitely tough to strike the right balance between elegant and accessible writing — and sometimes “lame” prose is required to get one’s point across. Sounds like you’re on the right track though, and it’s wonderful that you are still writing! Keep it up!

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